toefl independent essay, day 10
Could you please correct my essay?
In your opinion, which of the following is the most important characteristic of a coworker?
willingness to learn new things
the ability to make other people laugh
Essay
It is crucially important to be easy-going and friendly with your colleagues to create a cosy atmosphere on your work place. However, this is not the only one characteristic that make you a perfect coworker. I strongly believe that the most important characteristics for coworkers are the ability to receive new knowledge and constantly development of your professional skills. I will explore why I feel this way in the following essay.
First, acquiring new skills allows people to be more self-confident and earn more money, especially in start-ups. People who prefer life-long learning seem to be more interesting as a partners in conversations and frequently achieve success. For instance, two years ago my fiance has been working in a startup that dealt with quantum technologies. However this field of science does not developed well, companies willingly buy new quantum technologies and therefore such startups often become successful fast. So, my fiance and his colleagues discovered new technology that was promising, but they did not know how to apply it because of the absence of an appropriate computer. That is why they decided to learn how to create quantum computer and use it in application. Nowadays they are one of the most fast-growing startup in Russia. This example illustrates how important it is to coworker to learn continuously.
Second, it is always a pleasure to have a conversation with a clever man. Chatting with colleagues on their free time can improve professional relationships. My own experience is a compelling example of it. Three years ago I became an assistant in a biological laboratory. My supervisor was one of the most clever man that I have ever met. He helped me a lot with my bachelor dimploma and we showed the results of our work in an international conference. Soon we became friends and now I am in the most promising group doing my favourite science with him as a group leader. If he had not been so intelligent and well-readed, my career would have been different from what I have now.
In conclusion, I believe that willingness to acquire new skills and continuously learn are the most important qualities for coworkers. This is because of more cosy atmosphere in conversation, when speak with an intelligent man, and earn more money.
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toefl independent essay, day 10
Could you please correct my essay?
In your opinion, which of the following is the most important characteristic of a coworker?
willingness to learn new things
the ability to make other people laugh
Essay
It is crucially important crucial to be easy-going and friendly with your colleagues to create a cosy cozy atmosphere on your work place. However, this is not the only one characteristic that can make you a perfect coworker. I strongly believe that the most important characteristics for coworkers are the ability to receive new knowledge and constantly development of your professional skills. I will explore why I feel this way in the following essay.
First, acquiring new skills allows people to be more self-confident and earn more money, especially in start-ups. People who prefer seek life-long learning seem to be more interesting as a partners in conversations and frequently achieve success. For instance, two years ago my fiance has been began working in a startup that dealt with quantum technologies. However this field of science does did not developed well (I'm not sure what you're meaning here, "not developing well" leads me to think it's not as successful but your following statement says it grows successfully fast), companies willingly buy new quantum technologies and therefore such startups often become successful fast. So, My fiance and his colleagues discovered a new technology that was promising, but they did not know how to apply it because of the absence of an appropriate computer. That is why they decided to learn how to create quantum computer and use it in application. Nowadays Currently, they are one of the most fast-growing startup in Russia. This example illustrates how important it is to for coworkers to learn continuously.
Second, it is always a pleasure to have a conversation with a clever man person/coworker/partner/friend (I would pick one of those and keep it gender neutral). Chatting with colleagues on their during free time can improve professional relationships. My own experience is a compelling example of it. Three years ago I became an assistant in a biological laboratory. My supervisor was one of the most clever man men that I have ever met. He helped me a lot with my while I earned my bachelor diploma degree and we showed the results of our work in an international conference (These two examples aren't quite ones that show how he is clever or fun to talk to, maybe re-word it or have a different example). Soon we became friends and now I am in the most promising group doing my favourite (in the US we spell it "favorite" but your way isn't incorrect, it would depend on who is reading it) science with him as a group leader. If he had not been so intelligent and well-readed well-read, my career would have been different from what I have now.
In conclusion, I believe that willingness to acquire new skills and continuously learn are the most important qualities for coworkers. This is because of more cosy cozier atmosphere in conversation, when speak with an intelligent man, and earn more money. (I would restructure this last sentence. Here is an example of one way it can be changed: Those two skills will help lead to a better atmosphere filled with intelligent conversations and encouragement to earn more money through the new developments made in the company.)
I hope this helps! Good luck!
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