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A simple summer day It was a simple summer day. The sun was shining brightly and the weather was extremely hot. The air was very dry and nothing even light wind was blowing. I was sitting in the garden and watching blue clouds passing by. The suffocating smell of grass and flowers from adjacent meadow covered me with dense fume. Sometimes it seemed that I was a part of this blowing abundance. Nothing could offend me. It was entire relaxion. Only in this atmosphere you can examine how wonderful our world is. How much do you need to be happy? Fresh air in your lungs, freedom to do what you want and your healthy family and friends. Could great sums of money, expensive cars of world-famous making or luxury cottages make you feel absolutely happy? Especially if you don't have somebody to share it with? I assume no. The clouds were passing by and the butterfly was flying around me. I was still sitting in the garden and saying thanks for every happy moment in my life.

Corrections · 4

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A simple summer day

It was a simple summer day. The sun was shining brightly and the weather was extremely hot. The air was very dry and nothing, not a even light wind, was blowing. I was sitting in the garden, and watching blue clouds passing by. The suffocating potent smell of grass and flowers from adjacent a nearby meadow covered me with dense fume enveloped me in an invigorating aroma. Sometimes it seemed that I was a part of this blowing abundance. Nothing could offend me bring me down. It was entire the epitome of relaxation. Only in this atmosphere you can can you examine how wonderful our world is. How much do you need to be happy? Fresh air in your lungs, freedom to do what you want and your healthy family and friends. Could great sums of money, expensive world-class cars of world-famous making or luxury cottages make you feel absolutely happy? Especially if you don't have somebody to share it with? I assume not. The clouds were passing by and the a butterfly was flying around me. I was still sitting in the garden and saying thanks for every happy moment in my life.


This was a great piece of writing! Well done!

Here are some notes which you might find useful:

  • The word "suffocating" generally has negative connotations. In this case, it would imply that the smell of grass and flowers felt overwhelming or unbearable. To replace the word "suffocating", I have suggested using "potent", which suggests that the smell was powerful and strong.

  • The phrase "covered me" is correct, although I have suggested the phrase "envelope me" because it creates a feeling of being completely surrounded or wrapped up in something. It gives the impression that the smell was comforting and embracing.

  • Similarly to the word "suffocating", "dense fume" has more negative connotations. The word "dense" is usually used to describe something that is very heavy, thick or murky. I have replaced "dense" with "invigorating". This implies that the smell was refreshing and uplifting. The word "fume" is usually used to describe a type of gas which could be dangerous to inhale, or to describe a very sharp odour (a smell that is quite unpleasant). I have replaced "fume" with "aroma". This implies that smell was pleasant and fragrant.

  • "Nothing could bring me down" means 'nothing could make me unhappy' or ' nothing could upset me'.

  • "The epitome of" means 'the perfect example of' or 'the embodiment of'.

Hope this helps! :)


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A simple summer day

It was a simple summers day. The sun was shining brightly and the weather was extremely hot. The air was very dry and not even a light wind was blowing. I was sitting in the garden and watching blue clouds passing by. The suffocating smell of grass and flowers from the adjacent meadow covered me with dense fumes. Sometimes it seemed that I was a part of this blowing abundance. Nothing could offend me. It was entire relaxation. Only in this atmosphere can you examine how wonderful our world is. How much do you need to be happy? Fresh air in your lungs, freedom to do what you want and your healthy family and friends. Could great sums of money, expensive cars of world-famous making, or luxury cottages make you feel absolutely happy? Especially if you don't have somebody to share it with? I assume no. The clouds were passing by and the butterflies were flying around me. I was still sitting in the garden and saying thanks for every happy moment in my life.

I hope you like my corrections. If you'd like to practice speaking, reading and writing, I'd be happy to help you. Feel free to look at my teaching profile and class offerings and send me a message if you think I can help you.

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