Could you please help me with this text?
The influence of social realism in some left-wing groups have imposed some artistic prescriptions and excluded any kind of artistic manifestation outside of a traditional and stereotypical notion of “committed art” (Collazos, et al, 1970). Even in the most liberal areas of the society, the process of professionalization has implied that if artists had not studied at a university, and their works are not connected to the system of education or the international art scene, their opinions about art, politics and the city are not considered (Baez, 2017).
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The influence of social realism in some left-wing groups has imposed some artistic prescriptions and excluded any kind of artistic manifestation outside of a traditional and stereotypical notion of “committed art” (Collazos, et al, 1970). Even in the most liberal areas of the society, the process of professionalization has implied that if artists had not studied at a university, and their works were not connected to the system of education or the international art scene, their opinions about art, politics, and the city would not be considered (Baez, 2017).
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Could you please help me with this text?
The influence of social realism in some left-wing groups has imposed some certain artistic prescriptions restrictions and excluded any kind of artistic manifestations outside of a traditional and stereotypical notion of “committed art” (Collazos, et al, 1970). Even in the most liberal areas of the society, the process of professionalization of art has implied that if artists had not studied at a university, and their works are not connected to the system of education or the international art scene, their opinions about art, politics and the city are not considered (Baez, 2017).
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Initial sentence should read, "The influence of social realism in some left-wing groups has imposed some ...." Using the verb has instead of have, since the noun "influence" is singular.
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Here's a slightly revised version below. All I did was take out some adjectives (to make the first statement stronger without altering meaning) and slimmed down the second part. Let me know what you think. I understand the point you're trying to make, and honestly it's not a bad start relative to other papers that I've read while in university.
The influence of social realism in some left-wing groups have imposed artistic prescriptions and excluded artistic manifestations outside of a traditional and stereotypical notion of “committed art” (Collazos, et al, 1970). Even in the most liberal areas of the society, the process of professionalization has implied that the works of non-university educated artists are not connected to the system of education or the international art scene, thus dismissing the validity of their opinions about art, politics and the city (Baez, 2017).
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my phd proposal :)
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