A company has announced that it wishes to build a large factory near your community.
Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this new influence on your community. Do you support or oppose the factory? Explain your position.
TOEFL writing practice
I try to pick up some topics that seems to be difficult for my level, and things are going really well...:(
New factory construction in the community is always a double-edged sword, it might imply that the economic is going to prosper in this area, on the other hand, it might also mean that the community is going to be affected by the pollutant produced by the factory. I will be explaining both of the benefits and drawbacks of the factory construction in the following paragraphs.
First of all, the beneficial influence of the factory built in the community might be the advantages from economical factors. Commonly, the decision of building a large factory indicates the company is making profits, which means it might lead to a prosperous prospect in the neighborhood as well. Also, this could be the sign of the rise of employment rate, consequently, once after the building procedure is over, there must be the demand of hiring new workers into the factory.
In contrast, the bad impact of building a factory would be a variety of pollutants from the process of building the factory itself and the operation of that. For example, during the time of construction, there must be a copious amount of air pollution and noise pollution which could cause severe damage to our physical and mental health.
In my point of view, I strongly oppose the idea of building a factory near my neighborhood. Honestly, compare to the potential economic benefits, I value the importance of healthy condition of myself and my family much more than that. Even if we do not talk about how much pollution of putting up a factory may produce, we either don’t know what kind of pollutant it might create after the factory is officially functioning. Under all this consideration, I will reject all the possible gain from allowing a factory to be built in my community in order to protect my health and the environment of my neighborhood.
( I am kind of confused at the compose of my conclusion in this essay so I just skip that….)
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Corrections · 2
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A company has announced that it wishes to build a large factory near your community.
Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this new influence on your community. Do you support or oppose the factory? Explain your position.
TOEFL writing practice
I tryied [past tense] to pick up some topics that seems to be difficult for my level [challenging topics], and things are going really well...:( [Is this a happy or sad affair? Usually forward progress is a good thing no? Or did you mean 'are not going really well?']
New factory construction in the community is always a double-edged sword, it might imply that the economicy [noun vs. adjective] is going to prosper in this area,. On the other hand, it might also mean that the community is going to be affected by the pollutants produced by the factory. I will be explaining [simple future tense not future continuous] both of the benefits and drawbacks of the factory's construction [or the factory construction] in the following paragraphs.
First, all the benefits derived from the factory's construction are economic in nature.
In contrast, the bad negative impact of building a factory would be a the emission of a variety of pollutants from the process of building the factory itself and the operation of that the construction process and the operation of the facility. For example, during the time of construction, there must be a copious amount of air pollution and noise pollution, which could/can/may/will cause severe damage to our physical and mental health.
( I am kind of confused at the compose with the composition of my conclusion in this essay so I'll [future] just skip that….)
Great work, this is a complex topic. It intertwines argumentation/negotiation, and economics which are usually at the higher C-levels (CEFR). Keep at it. Don't mind the corrections, we all make mistakes. I've probably made mistakes in my correction there. You should see my French! Your English is way better.
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A company has announced that it wishes to build a large factory near your community.
Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this new influence on your community. Do you support or oppose the factory? Explain your position.
TOEFL writing practice
I try to pick ( up) some topics that seem to be difficult for my level, and things are going really well...:(
A new factory construction in the community is always a double-edged sword, it might imply that the economy is going to prosper in this area, on the other hand, it might also mean that the community is going to be affected by the pollutant/pollutants produced by the factory. I will be explaining both of the benefits and drawbacks of the factory construction in the following paragraphs.
First of all, the beneficial influence of the factory built in the community might be the advantages brought/gained from economical factors. Commonly, the decision of building a large factory indicates the company is making profits, which means it might lead to (increased prosperity) a prosperous prospect in the neighborhood as well. Also, this could be the sign of a rise in employment rate, consequently, once/after the building procedure is over, there will be a demand for hiring new workers into the factory.
In contrast, the bad impact of building a factory would be a variety of pollutants from the process of building the factory itself and the operation of that. For example, during the time of construction, there will be a copious amount of air pollution and noise pollution which could cause severe damage to our physical and mental health.
In my point of view, I strongly oppose the idea of building a factory near my neighborhood. Honestly, compared to the potential economic benefits, I value the importance of the health of myself and my family much more than that. Even if we do not talk about how much pollution will be produced by putting up a factory, we either don’t know what kind of pollutant it might create after the factory is officially functioning. Under all these consideration, I will reject all the possible gain from allowing a factory to be built in my community in order to protect my health and the environment of my neighborhood.
Pollutant pollutants. there is a subtle point to consider in your essay, it involves the possible single pollutant from the factory or the many pollutants from the factory. And also the many pollutants from building the factory. Building something will never produce only one singular pollutant, this will always be plural pollutants.
But after a/the factory is built it might produce only one singular pollutant of concern to the community or the general environment. This is why I did not correct the word pollutant to pollutants. However it would improve the essay if you made this clear. All essays must match not just the tenses but what you say at the beginning, middle and end must agree. We do however usually and mostly say pollutants, unless specifically discussing one pollutant.
To correct the pollutant/pollutants ambiguity, try this.
it might also mean that the community is going to be affected by the nitric acid produce by the factory, a well know pollutant that causes infertility in women.
An example sentence I do not know what nitric acid does to women's fertility.
Finally after the factory is built, or once the factory is built you can use either.
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