Please help me to check through my assignment
The pie chart depicts the different destinations of anthropology graduates after finishing their undergraduate program in one university. The table provides data regarding salaries of anthropologists after 5 years of work.
In general, most of anthropology graduates get a full time job and the salaries after 5 years’ work as anthropologists are highest at the employment type of freelance consultants.
The graduates with full time work have a largest proportion with 52%. The graduates with part time work and the unemployed graduates account for 15% and 12% respectively. The numbers of graduates joining full-time postgrad study and apart-time work and postgrad study are not significantly different, with 8% and 5% respectively.
A large percentage of anthropologists working as freelance consultants after 5 years’ work receives high salaries (40% for salary of $ 75,000-99,999 and 40% for salary of $100,000+). While the low proportions of anthropologists are paid at salary level of $75,000-99,999 (25%) and at another salary level of $100,000+ (30%) when employed by private companies, devoting work at government sector earns the high percentages of anthropologists are paid within the two mentioned salary levels (30% for salary of $ 75,000-99,999 and 50% for salary of $100,000+)
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Sorry to say, but there are lots of problems in your reading style. By the way, the over all approach is not bad. Try to write in a formal way. For example, "after 5 years of working." can be written as " five years of working." Also try to avoid large and complex sentences.
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