Day 2/30: My friend Alejandra
Alejandra and I met with 3 years old in kindergarten 1st. We studied in the same school until high school, but we just became best friends in 8th grade.
She was the best student at school, the girl that had the best note, honors, and respect from the teacher. She failed her first note at the university where she studied Chemistry. I was present in her final test to get her Diploma, and after the deliberation of the teachers, they mentioned she was great. I just will say that I was the opposite.
As she was a good nerd, her behavior at the class was insane. She never answered to me in class if I asked, she never let me to copy on the tests and never borrow me any stuff, like an eraser, rule, calculator, anything even if this action would not represent a negative consequence to her from the teachers. But outside the classroom, she was my best friend.
We talked every day after school by phone, the old ones where you needed to dial a number in a disk. Our conversations were really trivial, like the how was the way to home, if her brother was annoying her, some gossips from school, etc.. We also shared some hobbies, like dance Jazz, cinema, shopping, trips and we were never boring.
The distance began when we started College. We attended different institutions and new friends appeared and the love came for each of us. That made our life difficult to share as often as we would like to.
Afterward, we started to work and the adult responsibilities separate us more and more. Then I became a Mom, she got married and I move outside my country for almost 8 years, in that time, we barely talk.
When I returned to y country, I got in touch with her to retake our friendship and share motherhood, and family moments together. She really likes it, and come home if I invite her, she answers my whats but never attends my calls. She is now focused on her work, her family and have a few time for friendship.
After thinking about this, I got the conclusion that she had the same attitude like in the classroom when we where students. She is focused in what is her priority now, and just have time to follow up whats up messages with friends.
I hope one day our lives connect again, and we would be able to share good nice moments. And also I miss the telephone with the disk as the only way to communicate in the distance because people were forced to talk. Nowadays, people just communicate with messages, brief and cold.
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Corrections · 3
1
Day 2/30: My friend Alejandra
Alejandra and I first met with when we were 3 years old in kindergarten 1st. We studied in the same school until high school, but we just ("only:) became best friends in 8th grade.
She was the best student at school, the girl that had the best note grades, honors, and respect from the teacher. She failed her first note (maybe "got her first failing grade" or "failed a class for the first time" ?) at the university where she studied Chemistry. I was present in at her final test to get her Diploma, and after the deliberation of the teachers, they mentioned she was great. I just will say that I was the opposite.
As she was a good nerd, her behavior at the in class was insane. She never answered to me in class if I asked anything, she never let me to copy on (or "during") the tests and she never let me borrow me any stuff, like an eraser, ruler , calculator, anything -- even if this action would not represent result in a negative consequence to her from the teachers. But outside the classroom, she was my best friend.
We talked every day after school by phone, the old ones where you needed to dial a number in a disk. Our conversations were really trivial, like the how was the way to trip home ("how the walk home was"), if her brother was annoying her, some gossip from school, etc.. We also shared some hobbies, like dance Jazz ("jazz dance" or "jazz dancing"), cinema, shopping, trips and we were never boring (or maybe ¨bored¨ ? See note below).
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Hi Vicky,
This was a very nicely written essay. I don´t know why it was overlooked by other people when they were correcting notebooks.
Don´t worry about the fact that your essay needed some small corrections. The important thing is that you expressed your ideas very well.
Green shows things that should be added. Red shows words that should be erased. Yellow shows optional changes, comments, or ideas about other possible ways to say the same thing.
¨¨Boring" significa una personalidad (o cosa) que es sosa o aburrida (generalmente o al menos por el momento. Sin embargo, si intentaba decir como se sentaban, que no estaban aburridas, que siempre se entretenían -- sería mejor decir, ¨We were never bored.¨).
Please feel free to ask me questions about any of the changes I have suggested.
I´ll return tomorrow to correct the second half of your essay.
Cheers,
~ Sonya
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( Part 2 of Sonya's correction)
The distance began when we started college. We attended different institutions and new friends appeared and then love came for each of us. That made our life lives difficult to share as often as we would like to. (or "That made it difficult for us to share our lives...")
Afterward, we started to work and the adult responsibilities separated us more and more. Then I became a mom, she got married and I moved outside my country for almost 8 years; in that time, we barely talked.
When I returned to my country, I got in touch with her to retake resume (or "renew") our friendship and share motherhood and family moments together. She really likes it ("this") and comes home if I invite her, and she answers my whats (maybe "my WhatsApp messages" ?), but she never attends answers my calls. She is now focused on her work and her family, and have a few she has little time for friendship. (or "she has only a little time for friendships")
After thinking about this, I got came to the conclusion (or "reached the conclusion") that she had the same attitude like in the classroom when we where were students. She is focused in on what is her priority now, and she just have has time to follow up whats up messages with friends.
I hope one day our lives connect again, and we would will be able to share good nice moments. And also, I miss the telephone with the disk as the only way to communicate in the over long distances, because people were forced to talk. Nowadays, people just communicate with messages, brief and cold.
___________
Your essay has a really nice emotional sentiment -- the nostalgia for a friendship that was special to you. I think this is something that so many of us can relate to.
I feel a little badly about writing corrections across the nice memories and sentiments that you have shared. But...corrections and learning -- that's what we are here on italki for, right? :-)
"good" and "nice" have meanings that are so similar that it doesn't sound right to use these two adjectives together. "share some nice moments" sounds fine....or "share some really nice moments."
Of the two options I suggested, I think "she has only a little time for friendship" sounds slightly more positive than "she has little time for friendship" (but in a "is the glass 10% full or 90% empty?" kind of way, ha ha.)
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