A creative writing attempt “I can start crying whenever I want”, said Arina out of nowhere. They were standing in Starbucks line, silently, both with their phones out. Matthias glanced at her, confused. “Cool?”, it came out more like a question than a statement. “I mean”, she said slowly, not averting her eyes from the phone screen, “if I will ever cry in front of you, because you did something I didn’t like, please know, that it might be a trick. Latte Macchiato, the big one, please.” - the last phrase was said in the fake cheerful tone, she was taking for every conversation involving money exchange. Matthias ordered himself an americano, “venti”, which was Starbucks’ lingo for “big”. He noticed how Arina shortly smirked, when he said it, but didn’t mention it. Arina was in a weird mood, distant and quiet. Any outside noise or event seemed to distract her from something. They waited for their drinks in silence. Matthias checked his tweeter feed. “Do you want to sit outside?”, tables outside were too close to the road and it was too loud because of the passing by cars; but tables inside, on the other hand, were all mostly occupied apart from the big common table. “Let’s stay inside”, they did so, awkwardly taking a corner of the common table. “I was thinking...”, said Arina slowly and for a second Matthias was sure that she was about to break up with him. “No, wrong start, I meant, I am wondering, are the first months of dating essentially the time, when you are trying to disarm your future self?” He sipped a bit of his americano. He really didn’t like coffee, and the taste of his drink reminded him again everything he hated about it. It seemed to him as if he could feel his heart starting to beat faster. “What do you mean?” “I really like you right now”, she smiled. He liked her smile. “It’s selfless mostly. I am ready to do anything for you. I think, literally, anything. I would like to disappear in your existence. But will I like you the same in the future? Or more like, will I learn to be selfish next to you? Will I learn to manipulate you to get what I want?” He really wanted to check the time (meeting with the Professor was supposed to be at twelve), but something was telling him that it would be impolite. “I really like you too.” Arina laughed shortly, looking at him with the weird, greedy almost fascination. Her face expression changed, and she relaxed, reached for him, took his hand. “Is that all that you can say about it?” Matthias thought about it shortly, then nodded.