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Spain flagVANESSA RUIZ
HIGH RISK SPORTS ( bungee jump, parkour...) Nowadays, more and more people like doing sports. Obviously, the high risk sports are dangerous sports that are done for physically and mentally prepared people and professional trainers. The main advantage is that they can be fun. And, as forenamed, they are ideal sports for those people in search of the adrenaline rush and professional people. For example, when people do bungee jumping, they are excited and nervous and at the moment of the jump, they shout and let adrenaline out. Another advantage is that you feel you have overcomed your limits. For instance, people who do parkour feel selfconfident, give in to their shyness when they jump on high steeps or buildings. In addition, doing risk sports help you reach new goals. On the other hand, there are also some important disadvantages. Although this way of doing sport makes you feel satisfied and full of energy it can be quite dangerous and might play havoc with your body and even cause death. For instance, it can be dangerous when you climb a steep mountain and you do not feel sure of yourself. You might make a mistake and slip. To sum up, there is no doubt that high risk sports can be fun but if you are not ready for them, you should not practice them because they could turn into a mess.

Corrections · 1

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HIGH RISK SPORTS ( bungee jumping, parkour...)

Nowadays, more and more people like doing sports. Obviously, the high risk sports are dangerous sports that are done for by physically and mentally prepared people and professional trainers. The main advantage is that they can be fun. And, as forenamed, they are ideal sports for those people in search of the adrenaline rush and professional people.* For example, when people do bungee jumping, they are excited and nervous and at the moment of the jump, they shout and let adrenaline out. Another advantage is that you feel you have overcome overcomed your limits (another option: "you feel like you overcame your limits."). For instance, people who do parkour feel self-confident, give in to (suggestions: "getting past" or "overcoming" or "conquering") their shyness when they jump on high steeps (steps?) or buildings. In addition, doing risky sports help you reach new goals.
On the other hand, there are also some important disadvantages. Although this way of doing sports makes you feel satisfied and full of energy, it can be quite dangerous and might play havoc with your body and even cause death. For instance, it can be dangerous when you climb a steep mountain and you do not feel sure of yourself. You might make a mistake and slip.
To sum up, there is no doubt that high risk sports can be fun but if you are not ready for them, you should not practice them because they could turn into a mess. (or "turn out badly.")

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Nice job. Your writing was very strong overall.

I don't think "as forenamed" works in that sentence. ("As forenamed" can't be used to mean "as the name foreshadows", though I'm not sure if that is the meaning you had intended.) If you had written a list of high risk sports at the beginning of the article, you could later write, for example "The forenamed sports are never high school sports because..." (using "forenamed" instead of listing all of the sports again). "Forenamed" is a rarely used word. An example of where I might see this word is a legal document, which would say something like, "This is an updated privacy policy issued by Facebook and by its subsidiary companies, Company X, Company Y and Company Z. This new privacy policy supersedes all privacy policies previously issued by the forenamed companies."

"As their name suggests" could possibly take the place of "as forenamed."

"Professional people" here is a little confusing here because the term is so general that it could refer to lawyers, doctors, etc. Were you talking about "professional athletes" or "professional trainers" ? I suggest that the sentence might be stronger if you simply say, "And they are ideal sports for those people in search of the adrenaline rush." (That probably includes the ones who do it professionally -- since they probably chose to specialize in that sport partly because they do love the adrenaline rush).

If you have any questions about any of the changes that I have recommended, please feel free to ask me.

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