Memories of an unforgettable journey Part 3 Budapest is a really a stunning city, and we enjoyed our days there, even if we got scammed! The black market was a thriving activity in all Soviet cities,

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Tamy

Memories of an unforgettable journey Part 3 Budapest is a really a stunning city, and we enjoyed our days there, even if we got scammed! The black market was a thriving activity in all Soviet cities, because with the foreign currency, local people could go to special shops in order to get branded clothing and luxury goods, otherwise impossible to obtain. A person asked us to change our money to the local currency, he told us that he needed to hide far from the crowded street and the police during the transaction, and since we were so young and naive, we agreed, of course! Someone, an accomplice, distracted us, asking for some directions, while our fiancees were trading with this guy, long story short, when we counted the money afterward, we discovered that we had only a few change in our hands. You can imagine our dismay, while we were discussing about what happened to us, we discovered that another italian couple got scammed in the same way and also that they stayed in our campsit as well, actually from something really bad we had a silver lining, we got new friends! we enjoyed visit Budapest together, in the following days, and share spaghetti for dinner made by us, on that small camping stove. I don't know, but I think that I got my travel bug from this journey, but please don't try to cure me, I am so happy with this condition.😍 All pictures are mine, made by an old reflex camera, it was old even for that time, I remember well that it was so heavy to hold and to use.

Corrections · 3

Part 2 ; please read part 1 first.

Actually from something really bad we had a silver lining, we got some new friends!

1/ I'm not sure about the use of "actually" there, but I can't think of any other word that convinces me that it belongs there either. You could drop it entirely and start the sentence with "From something... etc", but there's no harm leaving it there.

2/ Why do you need "some"? Because "new friends" by itself suggests that you got rid of all of your existing friends and replaced them with new ones. Add the word "some", and it means that you have simply added some new ones.

We enjoyed visiting Budapest together in the following days, and sharing spaghetti for dinner which was made by us on that small camping stove.

I don't know, but I think that I got my travel bug from this journey. But please don't try to cure me, I am so happy with this condition.😍

All pictures are mine, ~~made by~~ taken with an old reflex camera. It was old even for that time; I remember well that it was so heavy to hold and to use.

In Italian you use some form of "scattare" when using a camera, although I've seen a form of "fare" used as well. However in English you say that you take a photo, rather than making one. The photo is taken with the camera, and by the photographer.

Again this was a great narrative. Your biggest issue at the moment is that your sentences are like wild horses; they want to run and run and run, getting the wind in their ears and in their noses, and they never want to stop... except for commas. You need a few more sentence breaks (one idea, one sentence) and a few less commas to improve readability. However your overall narrative style is very good.

Part 1 of 2 Corrections

Memories of an unforgettable journey Part 3

Budapest is a really a stunning city, and we enjoyed our days there, even if though we got scammed!

1/ When you write a sentence, try reading it out loud. It's a way of telling whether you have too many commas which can make the sentence sound jerky.

2/ "even if" would normally be used in a conditional sense; that is, for something that might happen. "I want to go to Paris, even if we are scammed while we are there." For something that did actually happen, I would suggest "even though".

3/ A lot of people find the word "got" to be quite ugly. It's valid, but I would recommend "we were" rather than "we got" as an alternative.

The black market was a thriving activity in all Soviet cities, because with ~~the~~ foreign currency local people could go to special shops in order to get branded clothing and luxury goods which were otherwise impossible to obtain.

1/ Sometimes it's better to cut back on the number of words to improve readability. For example, the black market was an activity, so there's no need to use that word again. I would consider replacing this with "The black market thrived in all Soviet cities..."

2/ English isn't as enthusiastic about definite articles as Italian is. Since you aren't referring to specific foreign currency but rather foreign currency in general, you would not use "the" here.

A person asked us to change our money to the local currency. He told us that he needed to hide far from the crowded street and the police during the transaction, and since we were so young and naive, we agreed, of course! ~~Someone, a~~ An accomplice of his distracted us by asking for some directions while our ~~fiancees~~ fiancés were trading with this guy.

1/ "Someone" works if you aren't certain about who the person is, but with the next word you say that it was an accomplice. You therefore don't need to say "Someone".

2/ "By" is used to indicate the method by which he distracted you.

3/ There is one e for the masculine, and two for the feminine in the word fiancé / fiancée. I'll put that down to a typo because I remember that you had that correct in part 1 of your story.

To make a long story short, when we counted the money afterward we discovered that we had only a ~~few~~ small amount of change in our hands.

1/ "To make a long story short" is sometimes contracted to "long story short" in colloquial conversation, especially if it's a conversation which has some urgency. "Look, long story short there are three sharks heading for the beach and we need to get everyone out of the water NOW!" However it is not a good look in writing; it's better to use the whole expression.

2/ I understand what happened, but I'm not completely clear on what you had in your hand. I've written it as "a small amount of change", but this would normally refer to a situation where you had alcune monete, for example.

More generally, "change" can refer to the money that you receive back after you buy something; for example if something costs $9.95 and you pay with a $50 note, you will receive $40.05 change. However you will never have a "few" change. Change is not countable; only the dollars / euros that you receive back are. You can have a few coins, and this may be called "change", but you never have "a few change".

If you had notes as well, I would probably say something more general:

"...we discovered that we had been given only a fraction of our money's value."

You can imagine our dismay. While we were discussing ~~about~~ what happened to us, we discovered that another Italian couple got scammed in the same way and also that they stayed in at our campsite. ~~as well,~~

1/ You can "talk about" a subject, but you only "discuss" a subject; you never "discuss about" it. (However you can have a "discussion about" a subject, where discussion is a noun rather than a verb.)

2/ In English you always capitalise nationalities (or adjectives of nationalities) like "Italian", "Australian", etc.

3/ You could probably get away with saying "in our campsite" but I don't think I've ever heard anyone use it. "At" is more common. (Though you could use either had you been staying at or in a hotel. Prepositions are annoyingly inconsistent in most languages.)

4/ You already said that they were "also" staying at your campsite, making "as well" redundant. (Mind you, all of us have made that error at one time or another.)

I'm going to run out of characters again; to be continued.

Memories of an unforgettable journey Part 3

Budapest is a really a stunning city, and we enjoyed our days there, even if we got scammed! The black market was a thriving activity in all Soviet cities, because with ~~the~~ foreign currency, local people could go to special shops in order to get branded clothing and luxury goods, otherwise impossible to obtain. A person asked us to change our money to the local currency, he told us that he needed to hide far from the crowded street and the police during the transaction, and since we were so young and naive, we agreed, of course! Someone, an accomplice, distracted us, asking for some directions, while our fiancees were trading with this guy. To make a long story short, when we counted the money afterward, we discovered that we only had a little money ~~a few change~~ in our hands. You can imagine our dismay. While we were discussing about what happened to us, we discovered that another Italian couple got scammed in the same way and also that they stayed in our campsite as well. Actually from something really bad we had a silver lining, we got new friends! We enjoyed visiting Budapest together, in the following days, and shared spaghetti for dinner made by us, on that small camping stove.

I don't know, but I think that I got my travel bug from this journey, but please don't try to cure me, I am so happy with this condition.😍

All pictures are mine, ~~made~~ taken by an old reflex camera, it was old even for that time, and I remember well that it was so heavy to hold and to use.

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