IELTS Writing Task 1 #130
Hi guys, I'm trying to increase my writing skill for the ITELS exam. Could some one, correct this silly essay? Thanks. The title and the pie chart are below.
Title:
The charts below show the results of a survey about what people of different age groups say makes them most happy. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Essay:
The two pie charts give information about what people under and over 30 make most happy.
As the charts shows, the most things which plased people both under than over 30 are the self-fulfillment at work and practice their prefered hobbies. In both the pie chart this things have more or less the same percentage: 32 and 24 for people over 30 and 31 and 22 for the under 30.
Instead the other informations are different. The people under 30 are happy when they travel and when they dress fashionably. Insteed the people over 30 thing more to the family and their financial statement.
The other information is other factor. It is more or less the same percentage in both the pie chart.
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Corrections · 2
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IELTS Writing Task 1 #130
Hi guys, I'm trying to increase my writing skill for the ITELS exam. Could someone, correct this silly essay? Thanks. The title and the pie chart are below.
Title:
The charts below show the results of a survey about what people of different age groups say makes them most happy. I summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
Essay:
The two pie charts give information about what makes people under and over age 30 most happy.
As the charts show, self-fulfillment at work and practicing their preferred hobbies made people both under and over age 30 the happiest. In both pie charts these things have more or less the same percentage: 32% and 24% for people over age 30 and 31% and 22% for those under 30.
Instead the other informations are different. People under 30 are happy when they travel and when they dress fashionably. However, people over 30 thing more to the family and their financial situation.
The other factors are more or less the same percentage in both pie charts.
*No entiendo estas partes.
¡Qué interesante tu ensayo!
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