An email
This is a homework. I'd appreciate if someone corrected it. Thank you very much.
Hi Bob,
It's great to hear from you.
I'm thrilled to tell you about my first job.
I get my first job a summer when I was studying at university. My friend Tere asked me if I would like to work with her as a telephone operator in a telephone cubicle on the beach. I felt pleased with the job because I needed some money to pay for the university. Also, I thought it was fantastic to work as a telephone operator.
At first, I was a little nervous because I don't know how to use a switchboard. Besides, the phone calls to some countries were quite difficult to get. However, I learned all the things fast I I felt relaxed and happy in my job.
I learned some things such as the money's value and how hard is to earn it.
It was a very tiring summer but also very satisfactory because I had got some money to help my parents to pay for university.
That is all. I hope my story helps you. If you need to know anything, let me know.
Best wishes.
Isabel
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Corrections · 2
1
An email
This is my homework. I'd appreciate if someone would correct it. Thank you very much.
Hi Bob.
It's great to hear from you.
I'm thrilled (excited) to tell you about my first job.
I got my first job in summer whilst I was studying at university. My friend Tere asked me if I would like to work with her as a telephone operator in a telephone cubicle on the beach.
I felt pleased to get the job because I needed some money to pay for my university. I also thought it would be fantastic (a great learning experience) to work as a telephone operator.
At first, I was a little nervous because I didn’t know how to use the switchboard and added to that, phone calls to some countries were quite difficult to make.
However, I picked up all the skills fast which made me feel relaxed and happy in my job.
I learned other new insights such as the value of money and how difficult it is to earn.
It was an exhausting summer but also highly satisfactory because I got some money to help my parents pay for my university.
That is all. I hope my story helps you. If you want to know anything else, let me know.
Best wishes,
Isabel
0
An email
This is a homework . 'homework' is an uncountable noun - you can say 'my homework' or 'some homework' but "a homework" is wrong
I'd appreciate if someone corrected it. Thank you very much.
Hi Bob,
It's great to hear from you.
I'm thrilled to tell you about my first job.
thrilled = (extremely excited/ extremely happy) We usually say this as a response when something good just happened to us or we just received good news. Here this sounds unnatural because you are talking about telling someone about past employment.
Example 1
Person A: I am pregnant! I'm going to have a baby! :-)
Person B: Oh!! I'm thrilled for you! This is amazing news!! Congratulations!
Example 2
Person A: I was thrilled when my boyfriend proposed to me last week!
Person B: Amazing! When is the wedding!
I get got my first job during one summer while I was studying at university. My friend Tere asked me if I would like to work with her as a telephone operator in a telephone cubicle on the beach.-( It sounds like you worked together inside a small phone box on the beach with no personal space.)
I felt pleased with the job because I needed some money to pay for the university.
to pay for the university = to pay for the construction of the university building!!!
to pay for university = tuition fees
Also, I thought it was fantastic to work as a telephone operator.
At first, I was a little nervous because I don't didn't know how to use a switchboard. Also, the phone calls to some countries were quite difficult to get. - (Here the meaning is not clear)
Possible Alternatives:
- It was difficult to put phone calls through to certain countries.
- It was difficult to receive calls from certain countries.
However, I learned all the things everything fast and I I felt happy and relaxed in my job.
I learned some important things such as the value of money and how hard it is to earn it.
It was a very tiring summer but also very satisfactory because I earned some money to help my parents to pay for university.
That's all for now. I hope my story helps you. If you need to know anything let me know.
Best wishes.
Isabel
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