Correction , thank you!
As generally known, schooling is indispensable to everyone's growth.No one could deny the fact that only local government can solve a large proportion of educational problems.Specifically, government allocate a sum of money annually for the colleges and universities to raise salaries of the staff,to upgrade the teaching facilities and to subside some students with financial burden. My university is a case in point.In the last decade,it was a small and little-known university with out-of-date laboratories and libraries. Worse still,teachers imparted knowledge without practical value and graduates can hardly hunt for a decent job due to the low teaching quality. Every student complained about this poor situation but had nothing to figure it out. Afterward,they wrote a letter to the local government for help.Delightedly,the mayor took effective steps immediately.Under assistance of the government, my university recruited a batch of renowned professors by high salaries, introduced state-of-the-art technologies and teaching equipment, and funded scholarships and student loans. Like a miracle,everything had changed a lot since then.This problem has been thoroughly solved. If people relied on the force of individuals to solve such problems, the worrying situation would go on and on.
Please give me some advice, thanks..
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Corrections · 1
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Correction , thank you!
Please give me some advice, thanks.
Well written! I would recommend paying focusing on when to use "the" in your writing. When you are talking about a general case, such as governments raising money for colleges and universities, "the" implies you are speaking about a particular set of colleges in universities. The other thing I would suggest is trying to combine shorter sentences into longer ones to make your writing flow better (but most of your short sentences are not bad as is!).
Best!
Sean
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