I want to play something with you
She clenched her fists, bit her lips and felt her guts squirming. This wasn’t exactly how she imagined the outcome of her plans. However, she wouldn't give him the satisfaction of seeing her tormented because of him. No. She wouldn’t be that edgy girl that he was expecting to find. She would face him no matter what he was planning to do with her.
"What do you want?" she asked bluntly, not letting him have the first word.
He grinned, and she thought his smile was as compelling as his eyes were terrifying. "You know exactly what I want."
She gulped. "Just say it."
He laid the paper on the table and then stared at her with a daring look.
"I want to play something with you."
.
.
(This is just an extract of something that I'm trying to write. Anyone who could correct it would be an amazing help! Thanks!)
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Corrections · 2
2
I Want to Play Something with You
She clenched her fists, bit her lips and felt her guts squirming. This wasn’t exactly how she imagined the aftermath/outcome of her plans. However, she wouldn't give him the satisfaction to see of seeing her tormented because of him. No. She wouldn’t be that edgy girl that he was expecting to find. She would face him no matter what he was planning to do with her. hereinafter.
"What do you want?" she asked bluntly, not letting him have the first word.
He grinned, and she thought his smile was as compelling as his eyes were terrifying. "You know exactly what I want."
She gulped. "Just say it."
He laid the paper on the table and then stared at her with a daring look.
"I want to play something with you."
.
.
(This is just an extract of something that I'm trying to write. Anyone who could correct it would be an amazing help! Thanks!)
Hi, Lorena. I'm not a writer so these are just suggestions.
"bit her lips" sounds a little odd to me.
Good work!
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