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Japan flagMckie🌟Top1% TeacherProfessional Teacher
10/14|Does this sound natural? Please correct my English is wrong. Q: Please tell me about a pleasant incident that happened today. A: A sun shinning beautifully like treasure and leafs are twinkled by it. As typhoon has gone, it seems taken away with dirty air. I hope that it would take away of every people's dirty hearts like that!

Corrections · 4

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10/14|Does this sound natural? Please correct if my English is wrong.

Q: Please tell me about a pleasant incident that happened today.
A: A The sun is shinning beautifully, like treasure, and leafs leaves are twinkled by it. As the typhoon has gone, it seems it has taken away with the dirty air. I hoped that it would take away of every people's person's dirty hearts like that too!

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Saying that someone's heart is "dirty" can be understood, but I do not think it's natural to say in English. "unclean" has the same meaning as "dirty" but is a little more common for this poetic use I think.
"taken away the unclean air", "take away every person's unclean heart"

It is not entirely clear if you want your last sentence to be future-tense or past-tense. I chose past-tense.
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"A sun shinning beautifully like treasure and leafs are twinkled by it." -- If you're talking about the sun in our solar system, you'll always say "the sun." This should be: "The sun is shining beautifully, like treasure." "Twinkle" is not a verb often used in the passive in English -- the sun can make the leaves twinkle or sparkle). People do use "dirty" as a moral term in English but it often refers to sexual depravity; I'm not sure if that's what you want here. "Unclean" could work. But most natural would be to use the expression "to wash [people's hearts] clean" -- this is a common English expression. So: "I wish it could wash people's hearts clean too"

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