Writing in English
Hi there,
I would like you to tell me ir my sentences are well written and how natural they sound, please.
The old woman stretched out an arm and the taxi stopped by her side. The man saw her small body getting in the car and choosing, incredibly, the passenger seat. A kind of tender smile of her made him feel valued because such expression was strange in old women. "This is a likeable little old lady, -the man thought, almost thinking out loud that the old woman seemed to hear him, so she stared at his face in a revealing way causing discomfiture, and in sum, she smiled. When she covered her wrinkled face that made her look funny because her little eyes went missing when devoured by serious marionette lines, the reality seemed to detach from her un a istant, turning her into a child in a perfect grandmother costume.
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Corrections · 8
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Writing in English
Hi there,
I would like you to tell me if my sentences are well written and how natural they sound, please.
The old woman stretched out an arm and the taxi stopped by her side. The man saw her small body getting in the car and choosing, incredibly, the passenger seat. A kind of tender smile of hers [from her] made him feel valued because such an expression was strange in old women. "This is a likeable little old lady, -the man thought, almost thinking out loud that the old woman seemed to hear him, so she stared at his face in a revealing way causing discomfiture, and in sum, she smiled. When she covered her wrinkled face that made her look funny because her little eyes went missing when devoured by serious marionette lines, the reality seemed to detach from her in an istant, turning her into a child in a perfect grandmother costume.
No corrections needed, this type and style of writing, does not fit into the "are they natural grammar sentences" questions for a site like italki. But the answer is yes they are very natural and very creative. That is why I have only made amendments to "of hers" and "in an instant" to keep the creativity intact.
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Writing in English
Hi there,
I would like you to tell me if my sentences are well written and how natural they sound, please.
The old woman stretched out an arm and the taxi stopped by her side. The man saw her small body getting in the car and choosing, incredibly, the passenger seat. Her kind tender smile made him feel valued because such an expression was strange in old women. "This is a likeable little old lady, -the man thought, almost thinking out loud so that the old woman seemed to hear him. She stared at his face in a revealing way causing discomfiture, and in sum, she smiled. When she covered her wrinkled face that made her look funny because her little eyes went missing when devoured by serious marionette lines, the reality seemed to detach from her in an instant turning her into a child in a perfect grandmother costume.
0
Writing in English
Hi there,
I would like you to tell me if my sentences are well written and how natural they sound, please.
The old woman stretched out an arm and the taxi stopped by her side. The man saw her small body getting in the car and choosing, incredibly, the passenger seat. Her kind of tender smile of her made him feel valued because such expression was strange in old women. "This is a likeable little old lady, -the man thought, almost thinking out loud that the old woman seemed to hear him, so she stared at his face in a revealing way causing discomfort, and in sum, she smiled. When she covered her wrinkled face, that made her look funny because her little eyes went missing when devoured by serious marionette lines (1), the reality seemed to detach from her in an instant, turning her into a child in a perfect grandmother costume.
(1) No suena natural, pero funciona...
MUY BIEN!!!!! Muy expresionante!
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Very well written. It just sounded unnatural to a native speaker in a few places, but very good. I'd just say be careful with run-on sentences.
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Writing in English
Hi there,
I would like you to tell me ir my sentences are well written and how natural they sound, please.
The old woman stretched out an arm and the taxi stopped beside/ next to her. The man saw her small body getting in the car and choose, incredibly, the passenger seat. A kind of tender smile from her made him feel valued because such expression was strange in old women. "This is a likable little old lady, -the man thought, almost thinking out loud. It was almost as though the old woman seemed to hear him. She stared at his face in a revealing way causing discomfort, but yet she smiled. Her smile covered her wrinkled face that made her look funny because her little eyes disappeared, devoured by serious marionette lines. Her since of reality seemed to be lacking, turning her into a child in a perfect grandmother costume.
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