I would appreciate it if help me to correct this essay
It is true that in some regions of the US, in order to prohibit teenager from stepping out after a given time at night without adult supervision, a curfew is regulated. I absolutely agree that it is essential to impose such regulation in order to protect young adults, although it can be seen as a human rights violation.
I advocate the notion of enforcing teenage curfews. The reality is that, as the night goes on, some illegal behaviors, such as mugging, are most likely to be committed and unaccompanied young adults, unsurprisingly, are proper target for these illegal activities since they are not only helpless under this circumstance, but also powerless. In addition, although juveniles can attempt to use either drug or alcohol all day long, being out at night might make the odds a bit higher, as many teenagers regard nighttime as a marvelous time to have fun. Therefore, youth needs to be protected during night.
However, I also presume that adopting such regulations is questionable in terms of human rights. It is important we strive to teach our children the values of liberty. Firstly, Taking responsibility for our actions is a virtue, and dealing with these responsibilities is part of growing up. Secondly, individuals under the age of 18 moving between two stages of life, childhood and adulthood, can be particularly vulnerable to such discrimination and it might lead to serious consequences in the future, for example, being insecure.
In conclusion, I completely support this idea for the purpose of minors' safety and preventing from using drug or alcohol, however, it can literally violate human rights.
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Corrections · 4
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I would appreciate it if you could help me to correct by correcting this essay
It is true that in some regions of the US, in order to prohibit teenager from stepping out after a given time at night without adult supervision, a curfew is regulated imposed. I absolutely agree that it is essential to impose such regulation in order to protect young adults, although it can could be seen as a violation of human rights violation.
I advocate the notion of enforcing teenage curfews. The reality is that, as the night goes on, some illegal behaviors, such as mugging, are most likely to be committed and unaccompanied young adults, unsurprisingly, are proper a target for these illegal activities since they are not only helpless under this in these circumstances, but also powerless. In addition, although juveniles can attempt to use either drug or alcohol all day long, being out at night might make the odds a bit higher, as many teenagers regard nighttime as a marvelous time to have fun. Therefore, youth needs to be protected during night.
However, I also presume that adopting such regulations is questionable in terms of human rights. It is important we strive to teach our children the values of liberty. Firstly, Taking responsibility for our actions is a virtue, and dealing with these responsibilities is part of growing up. Secondly, individuals under the age of 18 moving between two stages of life, childhood and adulthood, can be particularly vulnerable to such discrimination and it might lead to serious consequences in the future, for example, being insecure.
In conclusion, I completely support this idea for the purpose of minors' safety and preventing from using drug or alcohol abuse, however, it can literally violate human rights.
"Helpless" and "Powerless" are equivalent... Repetition isn't necessary.
In your title, you make an error which seems quite common: saying something like "...allow to correct" or "...avoid to say" ...instead, you should use the gerund - like this: "...allow correcting" or " ...avoid saying".
Gerunds vs Infinitives: https://www.fluentu.com/blog/english/gerunds-and-infinitives/
Keep up the good work!
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It is true that in some regions of the US, in order to prohibit teenagers from stepping out after a given time at night without adult supervision, a curfew is regulated imposed. I absolutely agree that it is essential to impose such regulation in order to protect young adults, although it can be seen as a human rights violation.
I advocate the notion of enforcing teenage curfews. The reality is that, as the night goes on, some illegal behaviors, such as mugging, are most likely to be committed and unaccompanied young adults, unsurprisingly, are proper targets for these illegal activities since they are not only helpless under this such circumstances, but also powerless. In addition, although juveniles can attempt to use either drugs or alcohol all day long, being out at night might make the odds a bit higher, as many teenagers regard nighttime (correct but 'night time' or 'night-time' is more common) as a marvelous time to have fun. Therefore, youths needs to be protected during the night.
However, I also presume ('believe' would be better) that adopting such regulations is are questionable in terms of human rights. It is important we strive to teach our children the values of liberty. Firstly, Taking responsibility for our actions is a virtue, and dealing with these responsibilities is a part of growing up. Secondly, individuals under the age of 18 moving between two stages of life, childhood and adulthood, can be particularly vulnerable to such discrimination and it might lead to serious consequences in the future, for example, being insecure.
In conclusion, I completely support this idea for the purpose of minors' safety and preventing them from using drugs or alcohol, however, it can literally violate human rights.
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