IELTS #7: Retirement age
In some countries, the average worker is obliged to retired at the age of 20, while in other countries people can work until they are 65 or 70. Meanwhile, we see some politicians enjoying power well into their eighties. Clearly there is little agreement on an appropriate retirement age. Until what age do you think people should be encouraged to remain in paid employment?
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There has been passionate debate in the world today whether or not mandatory retirement age should be raised.
In developing countries, many workers retire at 50 years old, whereas people in industrial nations continue working until they reach 65 or 70.
Life expectancy is one of the factors to determine the age at which pensions are payable.
For instance, the life expectancy of Japanese has increased year after year.
Since the government changed the pension eligible age, people can now receive pensions from the age of 65.
Those aged 60 to 65, who have reached the official retirement age but are not eligible to receive pensions, have to find a new job to survive for the blank 5 year period.
The aging population could also contribute to a rise in the retirement age.
Because of low birth rates, a shortage of workforce will be inevitable in industrial countries like Japan.
Therefore, the government should encourage employers to hire skilled staff even if they have reached a certain age.
On the other hand, there are some disadvantages of increasing the retirement age as well.
In unprivileged countries, their life expectancy is usually lower due to the poor health systems.
If the retirement age is set at 65 or 70, many workers will be forced to work their whole lives.
In addition, if a large number of the elderly is employed, the younger generation, which makes up one third of the population, will not be given job opportunities.
In conclusion, the official retirement age varies from country to country depending on factors such as economics and social values.
I believe that people should be able to work as long as they wish.
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IELTS #7: Retirement age
In some countries, the average worker is obliged to retired at the age of 20 (are you sure you mean 20 here?), whereas in other countries people can work until they are 65 or 70. Additionally, we see some politicians enjoying power well into their eighties. Clearly there is little agreement on an appropriate retirement age. Until what age do you think people should be encouraged to remain in paid employment?
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There is continuous passionate debate in the world today concerning whether or not the mandatory retirement age should be raised.
In developing countries, many workers retire at 50 years old, whereas people in industrial nations generally continue working until they reach 65 or 70.
Life expectancy is one of the factors to determine the age at which pensions are payable.
For instance, the life expectancy of Japanese citizens has increased year after year. Since the government changed the pension eligibility age, people can now receive pensions from the age of 65.
Those aged 60 to 65, who have reached the official retirement age but are not eligible to receive pensions, have to find a new job to survive for the blank 5 year period.
The aging population could also contribute to a rise in the retirement age.
Due to low birth rates, a shortage of workforce shortages will be inevitable in industrial countries like Japan.
Therefore, the government should encourage employers to hire skilled staff even if they have reached a certain age.
On the other hand, there are some disadvantages of increasing the retirement age as well.
In under-privileged countries, their life expectancy is usually lower due to the poor health systems.
If the retirement age is set at 65 or 70, many workers will be forced to work their whole life.
In addition, if a large number of the elderly are employed, the younger generation, which makes up one third of the population, will not have plentiful job opportunities.
In conclusion, the official retirement age varies from country to country depending on factors such as economics and social values.
I believe that people should be able to work for as long as they wish.
Very well written! Even many native speakers do not write this accurately.
Red - errors / necessary changes
Blue - expression / suggested changes
Green - comments
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