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Please correct my essay,thank u ! Some people believe the purpose of education is to prepare people to be useful members for society. Others say that the purpose of education is to achieve personal ambitions. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. Recently,some people always argue whether our education aims to help people become an useful part of our society or to follow their own dream. In my opinion,most of time,our education contributes more to our society rather than to individual goals. Education is able to help people realize their personal goals.Basically,people had the opportunity to build a foundation of the whole knowledge at school in their early ages.Many of them have found their interests in different fields through the variety of courses,which are beneficial to their further study.What’s more,they make every effort to achieve their goals after being well educated,which means that they become an outstanding individual of our society. The terminal destination of our education is to make our society better throughout the efforts everyone made.As a result, everyone need to be educated to devote themselves to our society.When people have accept education,they will have a better understanding of our culture,which is helpful to our culture inherit.Well educated people would like to find a good job easily,increasing the employ rate and cutting down the negative factors about society.A well-being person who is full of knowledge is likely to become an expert in some fields,which can make a difference to the society development.For example ,a doctor who have done some medicine research successfully is very useful to improve the level of medical treatment. In conclusion,the purpose of education is overweight our society rather than individual in our country in term of everyone who has made dream come true also need a good society.

Corrections · 2

1

Please correct my essay, thank you!

Some people believe the purpose of education is to prepare people to be useful members of society. Others say that the purpose of education is to achieve personal ambitions. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Recently, some people always argue whether our education aims to help people become an useful part of our society or to follow their own dream. In my opinion, most of the time, our education contributes more to our society rather than to individual goals.

Education is able to help people realize their personal goals. Basically, people had the opportunity to build a foundation of basic knowledge at school in their early years. Many of them have found their interests in different fields through a variety of courses, which are beneficial to their further study. What’s more, they make every effort to achieve their goals after being well educated, which means that they become an outstanding individual of our society.

The terminal destination of our education is to make our society better throughout the efforts everyone makes.As a result, everyone needs to be educated to devote themselves to our society.When people have acceptable? or maybe "when people have received at least a basic level of" education,they will have a better understanding of our culture,which is inherently helpful to our culture inherit.Well educated people will find a good job easily,increasing the employment rate and cutting down the negative factors in society.A well-being person who is full of knowledge is likely to become an expert in some fields,which can make a difference to the development of society development.For example, a doctor who has done some medical research successfully is very useful to improve the level of medical treatment.

In conclusion, the purpose of education is to improve ("overweight" makes no sense here, this word means "very fat") our society rather than individuals in our country. in term of everyone who has made dream come true also need a good society. <-- this sentence doesn't make sense to me sorry!


Don't forget to include a space after every full stop (.) and comma(,). This will improve your writing a lot.

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