Offline 04
“You know Ironman, even if the idea of the two of us on a metallic silhouette shouting field is really heart-warming, my first priority at that very moment today is precisely to contact Quentin by phone. I have not yet had the opportunity to personally thank him”. Pasquale was craving for calls with his family.
“What is the concern with your phone? I would be happy to give you a hand.”
“Well for that, it would yet be necessary to have at least one, but thanks for your support! If I knew what the difficulty is, I wouldn’t have a problem, don’t you think R2D2?” He glanced at his robot and he thought briefly an embarrassment expression on the robot’s face – well if he could call that a visage.
“Would you give my processor the permission to log into your phone? I could scan your device and detect any eventual problem.”
“It would happen, literally over my dead body. Do you want to spy on me? My phone is private Robot Detective K!” rejected Pasquale indignantly.
“It has come to my attention Pasquale that you might want to give me a cool nickname. May I propose Kitt? I am a huge Pontiac fan.”
Pasquale wasn’t surprised at the suggestion but he chose to ignore it. He wouldn’t allow the slightest choice to be dictated by a robot.
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Corrections · 8
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Offline 04
“You know, Ironman, even if the idea of the two of us at a shooting range with metal silhouette targets is really heart-warming, my first priority at this very moment today is just to contact Quentin by phone. I have not yet had the opportunity to thank him personally”. Pasquale was craving* for calls with his family.“What is the concern with your phone? I would be happy to give you a hand.”
“Well for that, it would really (I'm treating "yet" in your usage as a general purpose intensifier, and have suggested an alternative) be necessary to have at least one, but thanks for your support! If I knew what the difficulty is, I wouldn’t have a problem, don’t you think, R2D2?” He glanced at his robot, and he thought he caught a brief expression of embarrassment on the robot’s face – well if he could call that a face (probably better to repeat "face" here ).
“Would you give my processor permission to log into your phone? I could scan your device and detect any problems.”
“That would happen, literally, over my dead body. Do you want to spy on me? My phone is private, Robot Detective K!” Pasquale's rejection ("of this unsettling offer") was indignant.
“It has come to my attention, Pasquale, that you might want to give me a cool nickname. May I propose Kitt? I am a huge Pontiac fan.”
Pasquale wasn’t surprised at the suggestion, but he chose to ignore it. He wouldn’t allow his slightest choice to be dictated by a robot.
* http://grammarproject.blogspot.com/2009/08/word-check-craving-vs-craving-for.html
Maybe have a look at "rule 8" at https://www.grammarbook.com/punctuation/commas.asp ?
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