Offline 01
“And again, that bloody phone is not working!” irritated Pasquale grumbled loudly, as he was placing his cell phone back on the living room table and glancing suspiciously at Buddy 111, his recently met robotic nurse.
“Is it me you’re talking to Pasquale?” intervened the droid. “I’m sorry I didn’t understand your every word, would you please repeat what you just said?”
“Whatever you say Tinny 111!” Pasquale mumbled. “How on earth am I supposed to talk with a robot? We’re not living in a terminator sequel movie! I’ll be back Sarah Connor!”
Pasquale, newcomer in the fancy – and according to him far too expensive - Galactica resident home, was feeling like an inmate in his new home to be. He was keeping a close eye on the scrap heap, ready to dismantle it piece by piece the minute he would find a screwdriver. At that very moment, he was feeling like a wind of nostalgia. He cruelly was missing his workbench and his tools, a lifelong collection.
“How can I help you Pasquale?” Buddy 111 asked again with enthusiasm in a half-human and a half-metallic voice.
“What have I done to God to deserve this?” the Italian retiree sighed gently. “You can’t help me Night’tin’gale, unless you have a phone function, ” mocked Pasquale.
Search from various English teachers...
Corrections · 4
1
You have a straight correction, so I'll offer you some "editorial" opinions - feel free to ignore!
Offline 01
“It's not working - again.” (No need to tell us what isn't working - that will follow. Does the "again" have more impact at the end?)
Irritated, Pasquale put his mobile back on the living room table. ("Cell phone" is US Eng, "mobile" Br Eng - I guess soon they will all be just "phones", as landlines die out. And this thought ends here - so new sentence?)
He glanced suspiciously at Buddy 111, his new robot nurse. (Often we use two nouns like this - robot nurse - in English. https://learnenglish.britishcouncil.org/english-grammar/noun-modifiers )
“Are you talking to me, Pasquale?” So the droid could talk. “I’m sorry, I didn’t understand. "Would you please repeat that?” (This is just a slightly more clipped, briefer style - just different, not better, obviously.) (We'd often use commas to mark off parts of a sentence, like the name here. https://www.grammarbook.com/punctuation/commas.asp )
“Whatever you say, Tinny 111!” Pasquale mumbled. “How on earth do I talk to a robot? We’re not living in a Terminator movie (or "a sequel", but probably not both) ! 'I’ll be back Sarah Connor!' " (Extra, different speech marks - ' ' - to contain the quote from the film within his speech. )
Pasquale, newcomer in the fancy – and, according to him, far too expensive - Galactica (like the Battlestar?) care home, was feeling like an inmate, not a valued customer and human being (is this repetitive - can we leave out " in his new home to be"?)
He was keeping a close eye on the scrap heap, (what is the scrap heap?) ready to dismantle it piece by piece the minute he could find a screwdriver. At that very moment, he was feeling the cold wind of nostalgia. He sorely missed his workbench and his tools, a lifetime's collection.
“How can I help you, Pasquale?” Buddy 111 asked again, with enthusiasm, in a half-human and half-metallic voice.
“What have I done to God to deserve this?” the Italian retiree sighed gently. “You can’t help me Night’tin’gale, unless you have a phone function. ” (we don't really need "mocked Pasquale" - the words give the tone, and we know who is speaking ...)
(I might perhaps add that "stative verb" is a controversial topic, with some grammarians of the view that some verbs have a stative aspect or usage, rather than being "stative verbs" - and that any general rule against using the present continuous with some verbs should be approached with caution.)
http://leoxicon.blogspot.com/2017/12/the-state-of-stative-verbs.html www.ccsenet.org/journal/index.php/ijel/article/download/67559/37770
1
Offline 01
“And again, that bloody phone is not working!” irritated Pasquale grumbled loudly, irritated, as he was placing his cell phone back on the living room table and glancing suspiciously at Buddy 111, his recently met robotic nurse.“Is it me you’re talking to Pasquale?” intervened the droid. “I’m sorry I didn’t understand your every word, would you please repeat what you just said?”
“Whatever you say, Tinny 111!” Pasquale mumbled consented saccharinely/simpered/intoned/. it is hard to mumble an exclamation. “How on earth am I supposed to talk with a robot? We’re not living in a terminator sequel movie! I’ll be back Sarah Connor!”
Pasquale, newcomer in the fancy – and according to him far too expensive - Galactica resident home, was feeling like an inmate in his new home-to-be. He was keeping a close eye on the scrap heap, ready to dismantle it piece by piece the minute he would find found/could find a screwdriver. At that very moment, he was feeling like a wind of nostalgia. If he felt "like" a wind, he would feel he WAS the wind, instead of experiencing it He cruelly was missing missed his workbench and his tools, "to miss" is stative: we almost never use progressive/continuous (-ing) tenses with it. a lifelong collection.
“How can I help you Pasquale?” Buddy 111 asked again with enthusiasm in a half-human and a half-metallic voice.
“What have I done to God to deserve this?” the Italian retiree sighed gently. “You can’t help me Night’tin’gale, unless you have a phone function, ” mocked Pasquale.
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