Correct my English, please
(The following is the opinion about development of technology.)
It is said that the development of technologies might deprive people of their jobs.
But I don't think it connects lessening the business field of people.
First, there are many services that require human communication. We, human beings, can be relieved by smiling, very characteristic action of human.
Second, we need the workers who watch, control or maintain the technologies. The more technologies are used, the more people have to work with them.
Finally, the improvement of technologies might give us extra time to consider their business, which might produce new projects, products or services. As a result, these new things would give people new kinds of jobs.
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Corrections · 6
2
Correct my English, please
It is said that the development of technologies might may deprive people of their jobs.
But I don't think it connects lessening will reduce/lessen (I think reduce sounds better here, but lessen is still fine) the business field/job opportunities (business field sounds specific to business, but I think you meant jobs in general, that's why I suggest "job opportunities") of for people.
Firstly, there are many services that require human communication/interaction. For example, we as human beings, can be relieved by smiling a smile, which is a very human characteristic action of human.
Secondly, we need the workers who will watch, control or maintain the technologies. The more technologies are used, the more people have needed to work with them.
Finally, the improvement of technologies might may give us extra time to consider their our business ("us" goes with "our"....to use "their business you can say "may give people extra time to consider their business"), which might produce new projects, products or services. As a result, these new things would give people new kinds of jobs.
Other suggestion:
"Finally, the improvement of technologies may give us extra time to consider other business aspects, which might produce new projects, products or services. These would result in people getting new kinds of jobs."
I hope this helps.
1
Correct my English, please
(The following is the opinion on development of technology.)It is said that the development of technologies might deprive people of their jobs.
However, I don't think it relates to lessening the business field of people.
First, there are many services that require human communication. People can be comforted by a smile, a very characteristic action of humans.
Second, we need the workers who watch, control or maintain the technologies. The more technologies are used, the more people have to work with them.
Finally, the improvement of technologies might give us extra time to consider their purpose, which might produce new projects, products or services. As a result, these new things could give people new kinds of jobs.
0
Hi good day. I actually corrected this last night but my WiFi dropped, so I saved the corrections in a Word document. I tried to copy and paste the corrections back in italki and it wouldn't send. I think I will have to do it over, but I have to go to work soon. I'll correct it again tonight, but overall it is a well-written piece and most of my corrections are just to make it sound more natural.
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