The effects of social media on body image
The average person spend almost 12 hours a day connected, and approximately 4 hours on social media. As a result, the way these instruments are used could have a significant impact on body image.
Firstly, visual platforms like Instagram and Facebook are populated by images of stunning models that are perfect in every occasions of their life. Despite these pictures being the results of graphic tools, such as Photoshop, that allow to cover up imperfections, they promote unrealistic beauty standards. Those who do not comply with them often feel insecure about their appearance.
In addition, social media enable people to continuously compare their looks and bodies to others. Few likes on a photo means that you are not attracting enough and this seems unacceptable in the modern society. This explains why a negative body image positively correlates with depression and eating disorder.
The fashion and beauty industry aggravates this critical situation promoting the search for perfection. Advertising often shows skinny and half- naked girls that are happy and successful.
On the other hand, social media are also used to promote positive body messages. Dove “Love yourself” campaign is one example of instrument that has helped many women to understand that the key to happiness is accepting yourself, and not looking like a Victoria’s Secret model.
So, what can we do?. An education about the correct usage of social media is essential to benefit from these technological instruments without leading to a society in which one's only concern is the physical appearance.
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Corrections · 3
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The effects of social media on body image
The average person spend[s] almost 12 hours a day connected [to the internet] and approximately 4 hours on social media. As a result, the way these [devices] are used could have a significant impact on body image.Firstly, visual platforms like Instagram and Facebook are populated by images of stunning models who [always look perfect]. [However], these pictures [are] the [result] of graphic tools, such as Photoshop, [which] allow imperfections [to be covered up]. [T]hey promote unrealistic beauty standards. Those who [are unfamiliar with]* them often feel insecure about their appearance.
In addition, social media enable[s] people to continuously compare their looks and bodies to others. [If you don't get many] likes on a photo, it means that you are not attract[ive] enough. This explains why a negative body image positively correlates with depression and eating disorder.
The fashion and beauty industry aggravate this situation [by] promoting [perfectionism]. Advertising often shows skinny and half- naked girls [who] are happy and successful.
On the other hand, social media [is] also used to promote positive body messages. [The] Dove “Love yourself” campaign is one example of [a message] that has helped many women to understand that the key to happiness is accepting yourself and not looking like a Victoria’s Secret model.
So, what can we do?. An education about the correct usage of social media is essential to benefit from these [technologies] without [partaking in] a society in which one's only concern is [his or her] physical appearance.
NB:
*The word comply means agree, but is mostly used in specific circumstances. Ex: "She refused to comply with officers." or "North Korea is refusing to comply with human rights legislation created by the UN."
Always use a comma with the conjunction, "and", when you are using it to connect two statements that could stand alone. If one of the statements isn't a complete sentence by itself, a comma isn't used.
This is a tricky one, and a lot of the time, even native speakers make this mistake: Use "who" when referring to people, not "that". Similarly, the words "that" and "which" are pretty similar, but you always use a comma before "which", whereas the word "that" doesn't require one.
Overall, nice job on the composition! I highlighted the changes I made. I did remove a sentence because it seemed redundant, and I made a few changes to the style to make it sound a bit more natural. Feel free to message me if you have any questions!
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The effects of social media on body image
The average person spends almost 12 hours a day connected, and approximately 4 hours on social media. As a result, the way these instruments are used could have a significant impact on body image.Firstly, visual platforms like Instagram and Facebook are populated by images of stunning models that are perfect in every occasions of their life. Despite these pictures being the results of graphic tools, such as Photoshop, that allow you to cover up imperfections, they promote unrealistic beauty standards. Those who do not comply with them often feel insecure about their appearance.
In addition, social media enables people to continuously compare their looks and bodies to others. Few likes on a photo means that you are not attractive enough and this seems unacceptable in the modern society. This explains why a negative body image positively correlates with depression and eating disorder.
The fashion and beauty industry aggravates this critical situation promoting the search for perfection. Advertising often shows skinny and half- naked girls who are happy and successful.
On the other hand, social media is also used to promote positive body messages. Dove “Love yourself” campaign is one example of an instrument that has helped many women to understand that the key to happiness is accepting yourself, and not looking like a Victoria’s Secret model.
So, what can we do?. An education about the correct usage of social media is essential to benefit from these technological instruments without leading to a society in which one's only concern is their physical appearance.
really good!
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The effects of social media on body image
The average person spends almost 12 hours a day connected (to what?), and approximately 4 hours on social media. As a result, the way these instruments (consider a different vocabulary word) are used could can have a significant impact on body image.Firstly, visual platforms like Instagram and Facebook are populated by images of stunning models that are look perfect in every occasions moment of their life. Despite these pictures being the results of graphic tools, such as Photoshop, that allow to the cover up of imperfections, they promote unrealistic beauty standards. Those who do not comply with them often feel insecure about their appearance.
In addition, social media enables people to continuously compare their looks and bodies to others. Only a few likes on a photo means that you are not attracting enough (do you mean not attractive enough or not attracting enough attention?) and this seems unacceptable in the modern society. This explains why a negative body image positively correlates with depression and eating disorders.
The fashion and beauty industry aggravates this critical situation by promoting the search for perfection. Advertising often shows skinny and half- naked girls that are happy and successful.
On the other hand, social media are is also used to promote positive body messages. The Dove “Love yourself” campaign is one example of instrument (consider a different vocabulary word) that has helped many women to understand that the key to happiness is accepting yourself, and not looking like a Victoria’s Secret model.
So, what can we do? An education about the correct usage of social media is essential to so we can benefit from these technological instruments without leading to a society in which one's only concern is the physical appearance.
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