Corrections · 3
Nice writing. Here are my corrections/suggestions/comments:
It took me to a high place,
Then left me in a maze, (comment: or, "led me into a maze")
Now I can't find a passage back..
You taught me not to let go (comment: spelling of "taught")
Then left me with my tears,
& my heart's got fears, (comment: can remain, but sounds a bit awkward. suggestions: "Then left me with my tears and my heart's fears." )
Why my tears are so touched
Like something that can not heal
Like something I can never heal
Without A Word
Your love... (Course) comment: not sure what "course" means here. Chorus?
Without A Word
The way I am is not fair...(Comment: can't use contraction "I'm" before the verb is, since it is a contraction containing a verb already -- "I am"; fair and fare are homonyms, but fair seems to be the correct meaning here.
The warm world around became cold (Comment: expect an object after the preposition "around me," but is ok as it is. Poetic license.)
I used to be so cool,
& now I'm such a fool,
My breath's too fast & can't be
held (comment: use contraction of breath (singular) and is -- breath's. If you use plural of breaths, then the correct verb is 'are' -- breaths are too fast. "Can't be hold" is incorrect. You can say, "My breath's too fast, and can't be held," or, you can say, "My breath's too fast, and can't hold.")
If I just know why am (I) like this.. (Comment: If I just know why am I like this is ok. However, "If" implies a consequent phrase, (if....then...). To stand by itself, you would have to say, "If only I knew why I am like this."
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