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Yemen flagMastermind 향기
"Without A Word" a new Sad Song of mine, PLEASE correct it ASAP :))) Hi, please note that this is a song, so you don't need to correct the grammar as when do with poems and so, i just need the song to be correct in meaning, in other way to make sense :) thanks alot, here's the song: (((Without A Word))) I shouldn't have done that I shouldn't have looked at that Like something I couldn't see Like something I can never see I, I shouldn't have looked at You.. I should have walked away I should have run away Like something I couldn't hear Like something I can never hear I, I shouldn't have listened to You.. Without A Word Your love has found me somehow Without A Word Your love has pushed me to fall It took me to a high place, Then left me into a maze, Now I can't find a passage back.. Without A Word You showed me how to love Without A Word You tought me not to let go Then left me with my tears, & my heart's got fears, As I'm afraid I can't turn back.. Without A Word At All.. Why does it keep hurt this much Why my tears are so touch'(ed) Like something can not heal Like something I can never heal No cure, Yes your love provides me much pain.. Without A Word Your love... (Course) Without A Word My dreams turned into a nightmare Without A Word The way I'm is not fare.. Without A Word The warm world around became cold Without A Word The young girl inside became old I used to be so cool, & now I'm such a fool, My breaths too fast & can't be hold Without A Word I have become someone else Without A Word I even don't know myself I used to be so brave, But now I misbehave, If i just know why am (I) like this.. Without A Word At All.. Without A Word I'll say that Without A Word I promise That I will forget all your, All your time, & all your love.. One more thing, I will forget You above of All..

Corrections · 3

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Nice writing. Here are my corrections/suggestions/comments:

It took me to a high place, 

Then left me in a maze, (comment: or, "led me into a maze")

Now I can't find a passage back..


You taught me not to let go (comment: spelling of "taught")

Then left me with my tears,
& my heart's got fears, (comment: can remain, but sounds a bit awkward. suggestions: "Then left me with my tears and my heart's fears." )

Why my tears are so touched 


Like something that can not heal
Like something I can never heal



Without A Word
Your love... (Course) comment: not sure what "course" means here. Chorus?


Without A Word
The way I am is not fair...(Comment: can't use contraction "I'm" before the verb is, since it is a contraction containing a verb already -- "I am"; fair and fare are homonyms, but fair seems to be the correct meaning here. 

The warm world around became cold (Comment: expect an object after the preposition "around me," but is ok as it is. Poetic license.)

I used to be so cool,
& now I'm such a fool,
My breath's too fast & can't be
held (comment: use contraction of breath (singular) and is -- breath's. If you use plural of breaths, then the correct verb is 'are' -- breaths are too fast. "Can't be hold" is incorrect. You can say, "My breath's too fast, and can't be held," or, you can say, "My breath's too fast, and can't hold.")

If I just know why am (I) like this..  (Comment: If I just know why am I like this is ok. However, "If" implies a consequent phrase, (if....then...). To stand by itself, you would have to say, "If only I knew why I am like this."

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If I just know why am (I) like this.. (Comment: If I just know why am I like this is ok. However, "If" implies a consequent phrase, (if....then...). To stand by itself, you would have to say, "If only I knew why I am like this." (If only I knew why I am like this, then I would feel better -- the then phrase is understood.)

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