Search from various English teachers...
Brazil flagHenrique Fadoni
TOEFL WRITTING - TEST Early on the twenty-century, you can easily see the formation of two great wars and later on the start of a drastic event which inflicted two major forces, Russia and United States. Now-a-days, life can feel a bit more comfortable than in the past. The statement proposed for this essay is correct on my point of view due to two vital arguments, peace-agreement and third industrial revolution. First, the non-aggression packs between nations were established on the second half of the past decade. These contracts between the vast majorities of countries prevented the bloody events that happen during war and world crises. For example, since ONU was created there are fewer armed conflicts in the world and today we live one of the most peaceful centuries. Another point that is also of great importance is the democratic solutions that we see with our own eyes today. On the past they were less usual. For instance, it was hard to see mature solutions for harsh events that took place on the eighties and forties like The Great War, The Cold War or even the events that happened in Selma against colored rights. Secondly, peace-agreements show us an improvement on the quality of life. However, the globalization came with new high-tech industries. These companies influenced the thinking of human kind and focused our creativity and intelligence for something more significant than just conflict, crimes and drugs. Moreover, for the first time we could unite unique professionals from around the world to study a solution for some indispensable problem as diseases and rocket science. For example, we could see the work made on the launch of SpaceX's rocket which united all engineers and intellectuals from Canada, India, Russia and even Japan. Therefore, we can conclude that the new industrial revolution made the nations gather together for something far more meaningful inasmuch as technology has touched us in fantastic way. Thus, we can notice that between our grandparents’ time and our time we had a sequence of serious events and social movements to turn the world a better place. Now-a-days, we live in a far more comprehensive time than before the wars, legal rights revolutions and counter culture movements. Personally, I would prefer to expend my days on this century rather than back to the past where people as Martin Luther King were hunted on the streets of Washington.

Corrections · 3

0

TOEFL WRITTING - TEST

Early on in the twentieth-century, you can easily see the formation of two great wars and later on the start of a drastic event which involved two major forces, Russia and United States. Now-a-days, life can feel a bit more comfortable than in the past. The statement proposed for this essay is correct on my point of view due to two vital arguments, peace-agreement and third industrial revolution.
Firstly, the non-aggression packs between nations were established during  the second half of the past decade. These contracts between the vast majority of countries prevented the bloody events that happen during war and world crises. For example, since ONU was created there are fewer armed conflicts in the world and today we live in one of the most peaceful centuries. Another point that is also of great importance is the democratic solutions that we see with our own eyes today. In the past they were less common. For instance, it was hard to see mature solutions for harsh events that took place in the eighties and forties like The Great War, The Cold War or even the events that happened in Selma against people of color and their civil rights.


** Good job, Henrique.  Very few mistakes!  I only have time to correct the first paragraph.  You might want to split this entry into three parts.  You'll have a better chance of getting it proofed. Best of luck in your language learning journey.



Want to progress faster?

Join this learning community and try out free exercises!

Don’t miss out on the opportunity to learn a language from the comfort of your own home. Browse our selection of experienced language tutors and enroll in your first lesson now!

Start Learning Today