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Could you please check my paragraph? Task:

You have seen this announcement on an English-language website for ypung people.

"We are looking for stories for our website. Your story must being with this sentence: 'Laura realised the girl's bag was still on the café chair'.

Your story must include: a bus, a surprise.

Answer:

Title: A "new" person in the neighbourhood.

Laura realised the girl's bag was still on the café chair, immediately she started looking where this mysterious woman was gone, but nothing, no clues!

After few seconds thinking she decided to pick the bag up and go to the barman asking for some information.

Fortunately he saw the girl while she was going out and pointed her out to Laura. She started to run to catch the girl and everything was going in the best way until the girl stopped near a bus stop waiting for it that was some meters away. In less than a second the bus arrived and the girl took it.

Laura was speechless but she had a new idea: look in the bag and see if in any document there was the girl address. Fortunately she found her ID and, what a surprise, the girl lived in the building just across her street!

Corrections · 2

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Could you please check my paragraph?

Task:

You have seen this announcement on an English-language website for young people.

"We are looking for stories for our website. Your story must begin with this sentence: 'Laura realised the girl's bag was still on the café chair'.

Your story must include: a bus, a surprise.

Answer:

Title: A "new" person in the neighbourhood.

Laura realised the girl's bag was still on the café chair; immediately she started looking where this mysterious woman had gone, but nothing, no clues!

After few seconds of thinking, she decided to pick the bag up and go to the barman to ask for some information.

Fortunately, he saw the girl while she was going out and pointed her out to Laura. She started to run to catch the girl and everything was going in the best way until the girl stopped near a bus stop, waiting some meters away. In less than a second the bus arrived and the girl took it.

Laura was speechless but she had a new idea: look in the bag and see if in any document there had the girl's address. Fortunately she found her ID and, what a surprise, the girl lived in the building just across her street!

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