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An essay about reasons why young people commit crimes Dear All, Could you please have a look at a piece of writing below which I wrote in the scope of my preparation for the CAE exam? In this essay, I am discussing two reasons for which young people may commit crimes - "absence of opportunities in life" and "influence of friends". I would greatly appreciate any opinions and corrections. Thank you in advance! The situation with youth crime has become intimidating. Sadly, but less and fewer people today seem to be surprised by seeing a teenager convicted of a violation of the law. Not only does it have a great impact on young people's fates, but it also has far-reaching social and economic implications. In this essay, I am going to discuss two reasons which are considered to be the most popular factor of committing crimes among youngsters. One of them is the influence of friends. It goes without saying that generally teenagers are easily affected by their peer group. They are often afraid of being accused of cowardice and sometimes it really can be a reason for that they choose a wrong way. On the other hand, not all the cases can be described in this way. Indeed, an individual may be influenced by a group, but who were those who influenced group members before that? Taking it into account, I firmly believe that although this factor may be seen as aggravating one, it is definitely not the root cause. Therefore, I would like to put another issue into perspective. It frequently happens that teenagers just have nothing to do nowadays. They are not engaged in social activities and often do not have an opportunity to earn money due to a lack of part-time jobs. This results in absence of money and, therefore, having no chance to pay for courses or participate in activities which involve spending funds. Having a lot of free time and too much energy, they start to seek for a way to use it. Together with not seeing any prospects, it may end in being sentenced. In conclusion, I would like to express a belief that had today's young criminals been provided with more opportunities to realize their potential in the past, the modern situation with youth crime would be much better.

Corrections · 3

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Thank you Gordon! Could you please give me some examples to illustrate the most critical errors in the text? It would be really helpful too!
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Your article is sufficiently well written to communicate your ideas; however, to be grammatically correct in order to communicate most effectively there are a number of corrections that ought to be made. Unfortunately, the number of characters required to make all of my recommended corrections/suggestions far exceeds the number allowed. In general, just as with native English speakers the following should be observed: 1) maintain verb tense consistent throughout the article; 2) use the same terminology when referencing a single person or object; 3) maintain verb person consistent with the number of persons being discussed. All this said, I wish I were able to express myself in your native language as well as you expressed yourself in mine.
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