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Please help with my cover letter,Thanks a lot. Cover letter Dear Recruiting Manager: My name is Bella and I am an undergraduate in Anhui University of Finance and Economics.I started to pay close attention on your company a year ago.And I was impressed with what I learned of your diverse Culture. I like international,friendly, inspiring environment in Morgan Stanley.I am an outgoing girl,I like travels and sports in my free time,also I like practicing spoken English with some friends from italki.I believe my hobbies and characters will bring me together with the multicultural family. I am interested in pursuing the program about ‘2018 Fixed Income Division Summer Analyst (Hong Kong/Singapore)’ at your firm,and have enclosed my resume and cover letter.I know you’re looking for someone who is enthusiastic ,analytical, quick learners, leaders, team players, possess a strong work ethic.I believe I’d be a good fit.That’s why I am writing the letter. I Spent 500 hours systematically learning CFA Level I,and passed at 9A1B.Completion of the CFA Level I program has enhanced my finance knowledge and work ethics,increasing my interest on Fixed Income.Especially when I Learned securitization ,how SPV handle securitized assets to increase the liquidity.It’s really amazing,attracting me to learn more deeply and make a difference. In the junior year,I participated in 4 modeling contests, a securities investment competition, and prepared for CFA Level I within three months.I served as a leader in all contests,responsible for mastering the contents of the entire work, guiding the work of players.When there has contradictory, I would listen first, and help members clarify ideas, making the work successfully completed and achieved excellent results.Teamwork improved my ability to learn quickly in a short time and work with other people,teaching me how to think logically.Also High pressure improves my ability to release stress and time management . I believe certain characters of Morgan Stanley are a good fit for my strength and value.I am confident that I can do well the project together with others.I’m looking forward to receiving a response.Thanks! Yours faithfully

Corrections · 8

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Please help with my cover letter. Thanks a lot.

Cover letter
Dear Recruiting Manager:

My name is Bella and I am an undergraduate in Anhui University of Finance and Economics. I started to pay close attention to your company a year ago and I was impressed with what I learned of your diverse culture. I like the international, friendly, inspiring environment in Morgan Stanley. I am an outgoing girl, who likes to travel and play sports in my free time, also I like speaking in English with some friends from italki. I believe my hobbies and characteristics will blend me into your cosmopolitan family.

I am interested in pursuing the program ‘2018 Fixed Income Division Summer Analyst (Hong Kong/Singapore)’ at your firm, and have enclosed my resume and cover letter. I know you are* looking for someone who is enthusiastic ,analytical, a quick learner, leader, team player, who possesses a strong work ethic**. I believe I am a good fit which is why I am writing the letter.

I Spent 500 hours systematically learning CFA Level I and passed at 9A1B. Completion of the CFA Level I program has enhanced my financial knowledge and work ethic, increasing my interest of Fixed Income, especially so when I learned securitization; how SPV handles securitized assets increase liquidity. It is amazing, attracting me to learn more deeply and to make a difference.

In the junior year, I participated in 4 mathematical modeling contests, a securities investment competition, and prepared for CFA Level I within three months. I served as a leader in all contests, responsible for mastering the contents of the entire work, and guiding the team. When there was conflict, I would listen first, and help members clarify ideas, completing the work successfully achieving excellent results. Teamwork improved my ability to learn quickly in a short time and to work with others. It also taught me how to think logically. High pressure improved my ability to release stress and and improve my time management .

I believe certain traits of Morgan Stanley suit my strengths and values. I am confident that I can complete projects well together with others. I am looking forward to receiving your response. Thank you for your time.
Yours faithfully

*In a CV, or any other formal letter, one would never write the contractions ''I'm'', ''they're'' ... One would write fully ''I am'', ''they are'' ... instead.

**'someone' is singular, and governs the rest of the words in this sentence; thus 'someone' cannot be a 'learners' (as this is plural), nor can 'someone' be a 'leaders', for the same reason, etc. Someone is a learner, or someone is a leader...

Very well written!

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Dear Recruiting Manager:


My name is Bella and I am an undergraduate in at Anhui University of Finance and Economics. I started to pay close attention on to your company a year ago.A, and [for professional writing, never start a sentence with "And"] I was impressed with what I learned of your diverse Cculture. I like the international, friendly, inspiring environment in at Morgan Stanley. I am an outgoing girl person [for formal business communication, "girl" sounds too casual], I like travels and sports in my free time, also I and I also like practicing spoken English with some friends from the language learning website italki. I believe my hobbies and characters will bring me together with the your multicultural family.

I am interested in pursuing the program about ‘2018 Fixed Income Division Summer Analyst (Hong Kong/Singapore)’ at your firm, and have enclosed my resume and cover letter. I know you’re looking for someone who is enthusiastic, analytical, a quick learners, a leaders, a team players, possess ["with"/"and who possesses"] a strong work ethic. I believe I’d be a good fit. That’s why I am writing the this letter.

I Sspent 500 hours systematically learning CFA Level I, and passed at 9A1B. Completion of the CFA Level I program has enhanced my finance knowledge and work ethics, increasing my interest on [I don't know enough about finance to know what you mean here, is it "interest in", meaning you are interested, or do you mean you're earning money in the form of interest?] Fixed Income. Especially when I Llearned securitization, how SPV handle securitized assets to increase the liquidity. It’s really amazing, attracting me to learn more deeply and make a difference.

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