(IELTS) Letter - A friend's birthday
A friend has invited you to a birthday party, but you will be unable to attend. Write a letter to your friend.
In your letter
- thank your friend for the invitation.
- explain why you won’t be able to attend.
- suggest another time to see your friend.
Dear Linn,
I just received the invitation to your birthday party. I'm very sorry that to say that I cannot attend this wonderful event.
First I want to thank you for inviting me to your 25th birthday party. This is a turning point in one's life, and I truly wish that I could be there to celebrate the important day with you.
However, yesterday I received an order from my boss to travel abroad since there had been a serious quality problem with our products in Malaysia. To prevent the crisis from escalating, I need to go there and provide support as soon as possible.
I hope that we can hang out another time soon. Perhaps after the whole mess at my workplace is settled, I'll treat you a round of draft beer in your favorite pub, Vegas.
I'll write again when I come back to Ho Chi Minh.
Your friend,
Quan
Search from various English teachers...
Corrections · 6
1
(IELTS) Letter - A friend's birthday
A friend has invited you to a birthday party, but you will be unable to attend. Write a letter to your friend.In your letter
- thank your friend for the invitation.
- explain why you won’t be able to attend.
- suggest another time to see your friend.
Dear Linn,
I just received the invitation to your birthday party. I'm very sorry that to say that I cannot attend this wonderful event.
First, I want to thank you for inviting me to your 25th birthday party. This is a turning point in one's life, and I truly wish that I could be there to celebrate the important day with you.
However, yesterday I received an order from my boss to travel abroad since there had been a serious quality problem with our products in Malaysia. To prevent the crisis from escalating, I need to go there and provide support as soon as possible.
I hope that we can hang out another time soon. Perhaps after the whole mess at my workplace is settled, I'll treat you to a round of draft beer in your favorite pub, Vegas.
I'll write again when I come back to Ho Chi Minh.
Your friend,
Quan
1
Dear Linn,
(1) First, I want to thank you for inviting me to your 25th birthday party. This is a turning point in one's life, and I truly wish that I could be there to celebrate the important day with you.
However, I received an order from my boss yesterday to travel abroad since there (2) has had been a serious quality problem with our products in Malaysia. To prevent the crisis from escalating, I need to go there and provide support as soon as possible.
I hope that we can hang out another time soon. Perhaps after the whole mess at my workplace is settled, I'll treat you a round of draft beer in your favorite pub, Vegas.
I'll write again when I come back to Ho Chi Minh.
Your friend,
Quan
Hi Ngo,
I find the flow of your ideas in your letter very coherent, and they answer the IELTS question that you listed. I only made two minor changes:
(1) Usually, when we use an adverb to start a sentence, we use a comma to separate it from the rest of the sentence.
(2) It seems to me that the problem with your company's products in Malaysia is still brewing (You mentioned that you "need to go there"). Hence, I changed your tense from past perfect (had been) to present perfect (has been).
It appears to me that you can "soften" the tone of your letter to a more informal one since you are writing to a friend.
Some suggestions include:
1. I just received the invitation to your birthday party. I'm very sorry that to say that I cannot attend this wonderful event. --> I am very happy to receive your invitation to your birthday party. I'm very sorry that I cannot attend this wonderful event.
(For informal writing, the use of personal and possessive pronouns is more prevalent. "I'm very sorry to say that...." / "It's my honour to announce that..." are formal ways of describing something, so I cancelled your phrase "to say that".)
2. This is a turning point in one's life, and I truly wish that I could be there to celebrate the important day with you. --> Your birthday must be very important to you, and I really wish I could be there to celebrate it with you.
(You started with a very serious tone (This is a turning point in one's life) that is almost akin to a piece of advice given by an elder. / Again, I used a personal pronoun to replace "the important day".)
Ngo, we can still write in a concise and grammatical way even though we are adopting an informal tone. Do not confuse an informal tone with the use of slangs. The former shows the writer's sensitivity and awareness of the purpose of writing and the relationship with the recipient of the letter while the latter portrays insensitivity and indifference to how we relay our message.
Hope these help.
Lance
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I'm very sorry TO SAY that I cannot attend this wonderful event....
0
Very nice letter. I will use it for one of my students as a model. I agree with the comments from the teachers who kindly checked it for you.
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