a text
The emission of CO2 or what we call cars' smoke lead to air pollution. I think our society shouldn't allow citizens to have got old cars in order to preserve the atmosphere's purity. Fortunately, we build electric car to diminish pollution. This last is a phenomona which increases despite of the efforts done by responsibles of many partnerships. To sum up, I'm speaking to people, our environment is a treasure. We have to do too much effort to keep it clean, great and fulfil the following generation to live normaly like we are living now.
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Corrections · 4
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Hi Akram,
May I suggest the following improvements to your text. I've included a few reasons after the suggestions.
The CO2 emissions or what we could call "cars' smoke" lead to air pollution. I think our society shouldn't allow citizens to buy and sell older cars. This would help conserve the atmosphere. Fortunately, we are able to build electric cars to reduce pollution. Pollution is a phenomona which increases despite of the efforts of responsible partners in many initiatives. To sum up, I'm speaking to responsible people – our environment is a treasure. We have to work very hard to keep it clean, great and make sure the following generations can live normally like we are living now.emission of CO2 – the more common way to combine this thought it "CO2 emissions"
I think: "As I see it" OR "In my opinion" OR "If you ask me" – these might be some nice alternatives to simply saying "I think..."
cars in order to preserve the atmosphere's purity– In English we don't usually talk about purity for the atmosphere. We do, however, often say "conserve OR preserve OR save the atmosphere"
This last is a – I think you can repeat "pollution" in the next sentence to make it clear and stronger.
despite of -- There are two expressions that mean the same thing and they often get mixed up: "in spite of" OR "despite" Here you could also say, "... in spite of the efforts...."
responsibles of many partnerships – In English we don't really simply use "responsibles" to refer to people in responsible positions. Therefore, I changed it a bit.You could add it again in the next sentence to call your readers to be responsible people when thinking about CO2 emissions.
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Oh thank you very much Mike :)
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The emission of CO2 from automobiles should not be referred to as "cars' smoke" unless you refer to the exhaled breath of humans as "humans' smoke". :)
Also, it is well known that due to the inherent thermodynamic inefficiencies in electric power production and electric motors compared to that of internal combustion engines, the use of electric vehicles currently results in the emission of MORE CO2.
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