the effects on living big cities
With the development of large cities, we cannot ignore the problem that the expansion of the cities brings lots of pollution in our daily lives. Therefore some people argue that if people live in metropolises (大都市), it will has a great impact on people's fitness ，which I could not agree more.
On the one hand, people can benefit from better health care in big cities. Firstly, compared with rural countryside，there are well-established healthcare systems in metropolises. This means that people have more chance to acquire superior medical services and pay lower costs. For example, in GuangZhou, patients who enjoy the better care from famous hospitals only need to pay the 20 percent of the whole medical costs and the local government will use the healthcare budget to fund the rest of them. However, it is hard to afford this money for people in some small towns' states. Secondly, there are many more well-known hospitals in metropolises, and patients more like to get better treatments there. To be more specific, these hospitals usually have advanced medical equipment, accomplished doctors and professional experts. Patients with server sickness have more possibilities to recover. That is the reason why there are thousands of patients from different districts to go and see doctors in the Beijing XieHe hospital which is the most famous hospital in my country every year.
On the other hand, I would agree with those who argue that people live in large cities more likely to suffer ill-health problems because of contamination and pressure. It's not uncommon to hear about the news about the increasingly severe problem of air pollution in large cities. This trend makes urban residents suffer respiratory diseases easily, and affecting the level of health in the general population. Regarding to another problem, pressure, it has been an serious impact on people's mental and physic health in recent years. Because most workers who living in metropolises have to face fierce competition in working, and they lack enough time to have a rest or to do regular exercises everyday. Therefore they might to feel stressed out and more likely to get some occupational diseases and mental sickness, such as anxiety and depression.
In conclusion, I believe that there are many detrimental effects on people's health when they live in big cities, and people should pay more attention on this issue.
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Corrections · 3
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[Part 1 of corrections]
the effects on of living in big cities
With the development of large cities, we cannot ignore the problem fact that the expansion of these cities brings lots of pollution into our daily lives. Therefore, some people argue [it's not incorrect to say "some people argue," but if you say "some argue" here, then it doesn't sound repetitive to say "if people live" later in the sentence] that if people live in metropolises (大都市), it will has a great impact on people's their fitness ，which and I could not agree more.On the one hand, people can benefit from better health care in big cities. Firstly, compared with the rural countryside，there are well-established healthcare systems in metropolises. This means that people have more a better chance to acquire of acquiring superior medical services and paying lower costs. For example, in GuangZhou, patients who enjoy the better superior care from famous hospitals only need to pay the 20 percent of the whole all their medical costs, and the local government will use the healthcare budget to fund the rest of them. However, it is hard to afford this money for people in some small towns' states to afford this care. Secondly, there are many more well-known hospitals in metropolises, and patients are more likely to get better treatments there. To be more specific, these hospitals usually have advanced medical equipment, accomplished doctors and professional experts. Patients with server severe sickness have more possibilities to recover a better chance of recovery. That is the reason why that ["The reason that" is technically correct, but many native English speakers say "the reason why" informally, so don't worry about this too much :-)] there are every year thousands of patients from different districts to go and see doctors in the Beijing XieHe hospital,, which is the most famous hospital in my country every year.
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[Part 2]
On the other hand, I would agree with those who argue that people who live in large cities are more likely to suffer from ill-health problems [you can also say "to suffer from ill health" without "problems"] because of contamination pollution and pressure stress. It's not uncommon to hear about the news about the increasingly severe problem of air pollution in large cities. This trend makes urban residents suffer from respiratory diseases easily, and it affects affecting the level of health in the general population. Regarding to another problem, pressure stress, it has been had an serious impact on people's mental and physical health in recent years. Because mMost workers who living live in metropolises have to face fierce competition in working at work, and they lack enough the time to have a rest or to do regular exercises every day. Therefore they might to feel stressed out and more likely to get some certain occupational diseases and mental sickness illnesses, such as anxiety and depression.In conclusion, I believe that there are many detrimental effects on people's health when they live in big cities, and people should pay more attention on to this issue.
Great job expressing complex ideas! :-)
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