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Academic vs non-academic subjects Question: With the pressures on today’s young people to succeed academically, some people believe that non-academic subjects at school(eg: physical education and cookery) should be removed from the syllabus so that children can concentrate wholly on academic subjects. To what extend do you agree or disagree? Nowadays, young people have an amount of pressure with achieving their academic goals. Although some people argue that having non-academic subjects is a waste of time and energy, I believe that non-academic subjects should be added into syllabus.I will argue that non-academic subjects improve people’s creative skills, and secondly, some young people can be succeed in non-academic field which should be encouraged. Non-academic subjects such as art and physic education can develop young people’s creativity. This means that people can get more inspiration from music, paintings, novels and sports games which can help people to broaden their minds. A recent survey by Beijing University in 2016 showed that children who learned art were more likely to be creative than others. As a result, they have more ideas about designing and organizing activity in their work when they grow up. Secondly, there is no need for everyone to succeed academically. Some people could success their careers in non-academic field. Teenagers should have chance and experience to find out what really interests them. Furthermore, The responsibility of school is providing a well-rounded education to help students to achieve their potential.Schools should not take learning opportunities away from children who want to continue with non-academic subjects as a profession. In conclusion, despite academic subjects are vital for students, it is also important to develop their mental abilities. As a result, I believe that schools should provide a broad and balanced curriculum to cultivate students to become useful and creative members of society.

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Academic vs non-academic subjects

Question:
With the pressures on today’s young people to succeed academically, some people believe that non-academic subjects at school (eg: e.g. physical education and cookery) should be removed from the syllabus so that children can concentrate wholly on academic subjects.
To what extentd do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, young people have an amount are under a lot of pressure with achieving to achieve their academic goals. Although some people argue that having non-academic subjects is a waste of time and energy, I believe that non-academic subjects should be added into remain in the syllabus.I will argue that non-academic subjects improve people’s creative skills, and secondly, some young people can be succeed in non-academic fields, something which should be encouraged.

Non-academic subjects such as art and physical education can develop young people’s creativity. This means that people can get more inspiration from music, paintings, novels and sports games which can help people to broaden their minds. A recent survey by Beijing University in 2016 showed that children who learned art were more likely to be more creative than others. As a result, they have more ideas about designing and organizing activitiesy in their work when they grow up.

Secondly, there is no need for everyone to succeed academically. Some people could success their can have successful careers in non-academic fields. Teenagers should have the chance and experience to find out what really interests them. Furthermore, Tthe responsibility of school is providing to provide a well-rounded education to help students to achieve their potential. Schools should not take learning opportunities away from children who want to continue with non-academic subjects as a profession.

In conclusion, despite academic subjects being vital for students, it is also important to develop their mental abilities. As a result, I believe that schools should provide a broad and balanced curriculum to cultivate students to become useful and creative members of society.


"remain" rather than "added into", because I think these subjects are currently in the curriculum, and the question asks if they should stay/remain in the curriculum, or be removed.

"were more likely to be creative than others" - not wrong, but I think it sounds better putting the "more" before "creative". "were more likely to be creative" seems to suggest people were either creative or not creative. But "were likely to be more creative" suggests that people's creativity exists on a "spectrum" or a scale. More creative people, less creative people.

Success is a noun, succeed is the verb form, and successful is the adjective. So "successful careers", "they can succeed", "they can achieve success".

"despite academic subjects being vital for students" - we use a participle phrase "being vital..." because of "despite". Another way to say this would be "...although academic subjects are vital for students,..."

I think two words which could help your argument are "holistic" and "well-rounded". They have a similar meaning to "broad and balanced". Receiving a holistic or well-rounded education means you get to learn not just about history, English, Chinese, maths, science, but also art, music, and so on. Maybe you think of this when you think about the American "liberal arts" style of college education. 

All minor changes, but well written, great job!

1

Academic vs non-academic subjects

Question:
With the pressures on today’s young people to succeed academically, some people believe that non-academic subjects at school (eg: physical education and cookery) should be removed from the syllabus so that children can concentrate wholly on academic subjects.
To what extend do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, young people have an a large amount of pressure with achieving to achieve their academic goals. Although some people argue that having non-academic subjects is a waste of time and energy, I believe that non-academic subjects should be added into syllabus. I will argue that non-academic subjects improve people’s creative skills, and secondly, some young people can be succeed in non-academic fields, which should be encouraged.

Non-academic subjects, such as art and physical education, can develop young people’s creativity. This means that people can get more inspiration from music, paintings, novels and sports, games which can help people to broaden their minds. A recent survey by Beijing University in 2016 showed that children who learned art were more likely to be creative than others those that did not. As a result, they have more ideas about designing and organizing activity in their work when they grow up.

Secondly, there is no need for everyone to succeed academically. Some people could have success their careers in non-academic fields. Teenagers should have the chance and experiences to find out what really interests them. Furthermore, the responsibility of schools is to provideing a well-rounded education to help students to achieve their potential. Schools should not take learning opportunities away from children who want to continue with non-academic subjects as a profession.

In conclusion, despite the fact that academic subjects are vital for students, it is also important to develop their mental abilities. As a result, I believe that schools should provide a broad and balanced curriculum to cultivate students to become useful and creative members of society.


A very well written essay - and I couldn't agree more! I have completed two tertiary qualifications. Now, I'm a barista, which requires no qualifications whatsoever. Also, there are so many young adults out there that don't know how to look after themselves - some more subjects on life skills at school could help so many young people. I enjoyed reading this entry - thank you!

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