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Yong's notebook entry: May 12, 2011 Ocean Data Exchange and Forecasting For the prevention of environmental disasters, We should prepare to monitor and forecast the ocean. 1. Technology Request 1) Ocean Data Exchange - The In-situ and Satellite Data using specific protocol - The Data Architecture Skill for efficient management of Ocean Data 2) Ocean Forecasting - The Numerical Models Operating for the Ocean forecast - The Data assimilation between the Models and observation data - The Coupling Method between the atmosphere and the ocean - The 3D expression of Ocean Information 2. Technology Utilization - Forecasting of environmental disasters like Tsunami. this phase is right? Correct my english!!

Corrections · 2

1

Hi Yong.
These sentences are very technical. That's probably why people hesitate to comment without having familiarities to the particular vocabularies (also the reason if I should write this as a correction)
Some things I would like you to pay attention to:
1. Use of capital letters. Using capital letters for the sub-headings is okay. However, I wonder whether it is really necessary to use capital letters for the body part.
For example:

The In-situ and Satellite Data using specific protocol.

Unless 'satellite data' is considered a name (which i doubt in this situation), I think the use of capital letters is unecessary. Also, since in-situ is a borrowed latin word, I think you should use italic letters making the sentence into:

The in-situ and satellites' (asuming the use of more than 1 satellite) data using specific protocol.


So, without being familiar with the vocabularies and 100% sure, this is my best attempt at it and you can see if you find it more suitable:


For the prevention of environmental disasters, we should be prepared to monitor and forecast the ocean's behaviours.

1. Technology Request
1) Ocean Data Exchange
- The in-situ and satellite data using specific protocol
- The data architectural skills for efficient management of ocean's data
2) Ocean Forecasting
- The operating numerical models Operating for the ocean forecast
- The data assimilation between the models and observation data
- The Coupling (i assume it's a name of a particular method) method between the atmosphere and the ocean
- The 3D expression representation of ocean information

2. Technology Utilization
- Forecasting of environmental disasters like such as Tsunami. (Using like gives the impression that you it's not inclusive of the Tsunami but using such as would sound inclusive)


Although I'm pretty sure it's not 100% accurate or even close to what you expected, I hope it somehow helps.


All the best.



 

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