Corrections · 5
About transport that I choice
In my view, the most efficient transportation in my country is bicycle.First of all, it’s very convenient. It won’t cost me a single penny to refuel your bike. And you don’t need to go to great length to find a parking lot.
What’s more, in big cities, bicycles are sometimes faster than cars because cars are often trapped in traffic jams. Actually you can get rid of all those troubles that have plagued car drivers.Secondly, it is very cheap. Anyone can afford a bicycle.
In fact, almost every Chinese family has got at least one bike.In addition, bicycles don’t contribute to air pollution. Traveling by bicycle can do a lot of good to your health.
About my choice of transport
In my view, the most efficient mode of transportation in my country is the bicycle.
First of all, it’s very convenient. It doesn't cost a single penny to refuel a bike. And you don’t need to go to great lengths to find a parking lot.
What’s more, in big cities, bicycles are sometimes faster than cars because cars are often trapped in traffic jams. The use of bicycles could potentially eliminate all the troubles that plague car drivers. Secondly, it is very cheap. Anyone can afford a bicycle.
In fact, almost every Chinese family has got at least one bike. In addition, bicycles don’t contribute to air pollution. Traveling by bicycle is also beneficial for your health.
Notes: 1. Your use of first and secondly reads somewhat awkwardly here, because you have made several points in between. Normally this format is used for consecutive points, or consecutive topics in different paragraphs. The points you raise in each of these sentences are also very similar (low cost).
2. "It won’t cost me a single penny to refuel your bike" - you should stay with either me (first person) or you (second person) throughout your entry - "It won't cost me a single penny to refuel my bike", or "It won't cost you a single penny to refuel your bike". The use of both in a single sentence is confusing (why am I refueling your bike?). In this case, since the rest of the note is written in the third person perspective, I have removed both and used the third person. This also applies to the sentence that follows "And you don’t need to go to great length to find a parking lot." However,as it reads more naturally, I have not changed the "you" here.
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