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South Korea flagJaesung Ju
<How to soar in the sky> <How to soar in the sky> It was Saturday morning. A salary man, who has worked for a company several dozens of years but not soared, was having a breakfast with his family. The salaryman who was the oldest said chewing food in his mouth. "In fact, I can soar to the sky. When I dream, I soar in the sky. I dreamed that dream a lot of times and how I can fly was always the same." Then, the youngest person in the family asked. "How do you soar?" "I chant a spell." "What spell?" "I chant 'Mabasaha" and my body soars, and if I crawl in the sky then I proceed." "Oh, really? I can soar when I yawn in my dream." Then, the second oldest person of the family, who was working at kitchen sink. "Really? I can soar if I breaststrok like a frong. I poise like a frong and jump strongly to the air, then I soar..." The two at the table shouted. "Oh ye? do you breaststroke?" The second olest and the master of breast stroking said. "By the way, each of us has their own way." The oldest and the youngest kept eating. As a matter of fact, the have never talked to each other about how to fly. but each of them was dreaming of how to fly. and actually, they knew their own way to soar. The breakfast was Korean hot noodles. In order for them to fly, physical strength should come first. So, all of them devoured a bowl of noodle in an instant.

Corrections · 1

1



It was Saturday morning.
A salaried man, who has worked for a company several dozens of years but has not flourished, was having  breakfast with his family.

The salaried man, who was the oldest, said while chewing food in his mouth,
"In fact, I can soar to the sky. When I dream, I soar in the sky. I dreamed this dream a lot of times and how I was able to fly was always the same."

Then, the youngest person in the family asked.
"How do you soar?"
"I chant a spell."
"What spell?"
"I chant 'Mabasaha" and my body soars, and if I crawl in the sky, then I proceed."
"Oh, really? I can soar when I yawn in my dream."

Then, the second oldest person of the family, who was working at the kitchen sink, said,.
"Really? I can soar if I breast stroke like a frog. I pose like a frog and jump strongly into the air, then I soar..."

The two at the table shouted.
"Oh yes? Do you breaststroke?"

The second oldest, and the master of breast stroking, said,
"By the way, each of us has their own way."

The oldest and the youngest kept eating.

As a matter of fact, they had never talked to each other about how to fly,
but each of them had dreamt of how to fly,
and actually, they knew their own way to soar.

The breakfast was Korean hot noodles.
In order for them to fly, physical strength should come first.

So, all of them devoured a bowl of noodle in an instant.


This is a good paragraph, but you need more lessons on when to use commas.

Lisa

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