Happy Family Curing Tiredness
It was 17:30 when I left my office with co-workers. I felt hungry because it had been 5 hours since the lunch time.
When we just walked through the gate, I took a look at my smartphone and saw a message from the Section Director, said, Come back to update your file. OMG, can you believe that? Whatever, boss is a boss, I texted back "OK,Boss" and turned back to my office.
I had worked 2 more hours and came home. Luckily, my wife had cooked delicious dinner for me. And my 3-year-old son sang a song for me, which was taught in kindergarden. He was so cute and funny .So I laughed out loud and forgot the tiredness.
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Corrections · 3
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Happy Family Curing Tiredness
It was 17:30 when I left my office with my co-workers. I felt hungry, because it had been 5 hours since the lunch time.We just had just walked through the gate when I heard my mobile phone [cellphone -USA], I took a looked at my phone and saw a message from the Section Director [my Manager / Team Leader], that said, "Come back to update your file". OMG, can you believe that? Whatever, boss is a he's the boss, I texted back "OK, Boss" and returned back to the office.
I had worked two more hours and came then went home. Luckily, my wife had cooked a delicious dinner for me. And My 3-year-old son sang a song for me, which was taught in kindergarden. He was so cute and funny, so I laughed out loud and forgot about the tiredness.
Notes:
1. Do not start a sentence with "and".
2. I was not too sure about the level of management, but in the UK the hierarchy usually goes:
Manager
Deputy Manager
Team Leader
Section Leader etc
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Happy Family Curing Tiredness
It was 17:30 when I left my office with my co-workers. I felt hungry because it had been 5 hours since I took (my)
When we had just walked through the gate, I took a look at my smartphone and saw a message from the Section Director (OK), said, Come back to update your file. > But we had just walked past the gate when I saw a message on my smartphone-- when I was just checking it -- and it was from my section director, a message that went like this: " Come back and update your files".
OMG, can you believe that? Whatever, boss is a boss, I texted back "OK,Boss" and turned back to my office.
> OMG, can you believe that? Whatever it is, he is still my boss, so I texted back "OK, Boss" and returned to my office.
> Whatever it is , a boss is still a boss > sounds okay to Asian ears, a Chinese idiom perhaps?
I had worked 2 more hours and came home. > I had to work for 2 more hours before I could go home.
Luckily, my wife had cooked a delicious dinner for me. And my 3-year-old son sang a song for me, a song that was just taught to him at kindergarten. He was so cute and funny. So, I laughed out loud and forgot my tiredness> Seeing him acting so cute and funny made me laugh, and soon I had forgotten how tired I was.
To start a sentence with a conjunction ( and, but, etc.) is ok as long as it a complete sentence , though sometimes it might sound a bit informal, and it must not be choppy -- your sentence is a bit, by the way, but it's still ok. > He drove home last night. And he told us that he was too drunk to drive! And I think he was bloody lying to us.
To be more formal , you can join them or use other terms that give a similar meaning.
And my 3-year-old son sang a song for me, a song that was just taught to him at kindergarten. > On top of that, my son sang .../ Furthermore/ In addition, my son sang .....
Luckily, my wife had cooked a delicious dinner for me, and after dinner, my 3-year-old son sang a song for me ... ( joined)
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