Sorry, Sebastian, I've only had time to correct the most obvious mistakes (I had a problem submitting on the Italki system):

Despite the pros that advertisements owned (? it might work better: 'despite the pros of advertising ...', ), no one could disavow the disadvantages exist in it.Such as it aims to persuade people to purchase something that they may do not really require,and advertisers often target their marketing at children which can be easily influenced,therfore (spelling),kids may put pressure on their parents to buy them things.But let us do not forget that advertising could be regulated.If adminisitritor (spelling) (and perhaps plural 'administrators' or 'administration' would be better)  implement(s) a more stricter ('more' + 'er' ?) sencorship (spelling) on it (unnecessary - and it is 'censorship of' not 'on''), those demerits might be negligible. (Do you need 'and' ?) And the authorities were pretty clear that they can not afford to worry about the high unemployment which due to their prohibition of advertisments (spelling) ,if they prohibit it only for some drawbacks it has. 

I hope this helps - best regards, Rachel :)

Sebastian, well done - this is a good essay, and I'm sorry I haven't had time to correct everything, but I hope the few points I've made are enough to get you started on your next draft :)  One other tip: if you are going to take the trouble to type your essay, I recommend doing a quick spell check.       


Nowadays (this word is ok, but only really necessary when you are making a point about time), commercials flooding into our social (<-- do you think this adjective is best?) life, which (is this a relative clause? or does your sentence need a main verb ---> ) changed (nowadays ...... something(s) ...... are changing <-- main verb) the method way (I know you are trying to paraphrase the question, but you don't need to do every word, and 'way' works best here) individuals think. A held deemed that it coupled with several negative impacts (<-- I'm sorry, but I don't understand this sentence - could you try rephrasing?). In from my perspective (or 'in my opinion), this viewpoint is one-sided, and my arguments could be found infra (This type of 'signposting' is ok, but I wouldn't use 'infra' (common legal/citation abbreviation) -  perhaps '... are set out/discussed below' or '... are discussed In my essay'' would be better).   

First of all, advertising is a key part of modern bussiness (spelling). For instance, Chanel needs (you do have a choice with organisations, but if you use 'it' as you do later, then use a singular verb) a promotion of its new fragrance to remind the rich how to spend their money. (<-- full stop?) and a mall request some posters so that buyers could be aware of things that are on sale (or 'things on sale'), even fast-food restaurants, like KFC ,also need to tell customers about their products.Plus,without advertisements which inform us about the choices we have,citizens will suffer from the monotony of their life. In many industrious (industrial? check the meaning of these words) countryies (many?), advertising is a form modern art, a case in point is that when some movie stars or glamorous,successful people showed on the commercial break,it is a stimulation instead of disappoint (<-- adjective or noun?) the audience.