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Italy flagSimone Fabrizio
the 6th September 2016 In morning of this day I started having breakfast at 10 am. Then I came back to my bed where I rested myself for about half a hour. After that I played at Playstation for 10 minutes while my brother woke up and reach me in the living room. However I played 10 minutes because the game began to bore me so I turned off the play. Nothing else interesting left in morning. I've had lunch at 2 pm. I've eaten a salad of chicken with mais, tuna and flakes of parmesan cheese. At 3 pm I've drunk a cup of coffee with a teaspoon of integral sugar. After 1 hour my mom took me a tray of sweets. That one I ate was very delicious. At the end I've gone to my laptop where I registered on italki and write this.

Corrections · 7

1

6th September 2016

This morning I had breakfast at 10 am. Then I went back to my bed where I rested myself for about half a hour. After that I played on my  Playstation for 10 minutes while my brother woke up and reached me in the living room.
However I only played for 10 minutes because the game began to bore me so I turned it off. Nothing else interesting happened in the morning. I had lunch at 2 pm. I ate a  chicken salad with sweetcorn, tuna and flakes of parmesan cheese.
At 3 pm I drank a cup of coffee with a teaspoon of sugar. After 1 hour my mom brought me a tray of sweets. One I ate was really delicious. In the end I went to my laptop where I registered on italki and wrote this.

Hello Simone,

What a busy day you've had!

When you fix something in time you use the past simple, the present perfect is for actions in unfinished/unknown time with a result in the present. 'Delicious' is an ungradable adjective so you can't use 'very' the best and easiest way to give it emphasis is to use 'really'.

Hope this helps

Bob

1

the 6th September 2016

In This morning I had breakfast at 10 am. Then I came back to my bed where I rested myself for about half a*n* hour. After that I played at *on the* Playstation for 10 minutes while my brother woke up and reach joined me in the living room.
However I *only* played *for* 10 minutes because the game began to bore me so I turned *it* off the play. Nothing else interesting left happened in *the* morning. I've I had lunch at 2 pm. I've eaten I ate a salad of chicken with mais  sweetcorn, tuna and flakes of parmesan cheese.
At 3 pm I've drunk I drank a cup of coffee with a teaspoon of integral sugar. After 1 hour my mom took brought me a tray of sweets. That One *that*  I ate was very delicious. At the end I've gone I went to my laptop where I registered on italki and write wrote this.
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Hi Simone Welcome to the site. Your issue with the text that you wrote was that you often used the present perfect tense (for example: I have eaten) whereas your story would fit much better in what we call the past perfect tense (for example) I ate. We would tend to say "I've eaten," about something that has only just happened a very, very short time ago. For example, a child might eat some sandwiches that his mum had made for him and then immediately say to his mum "Mum, I have eaten the sandwiches that you made for me." We also use "I've eaten," to talk about things that you have done in your life. For example, you could say "I have eaten many types of pasta in my life."

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