Here is my personal statement, but I am not sure what to write.PART1 Personal statement Today’s successful companies, whether domestic or global, share a strong customer focus and a heavy commitment

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Baoyu Chen

Here is my personal statement, but I am not sure what to write.PART1 Personal statement Today’s successful companies, whether domestic or global, share a strong customer focus and a heavy commitment to marketing. I want to study Marketing as I believe that it will have a magnificent impact on analyzing phenomenon in more multidimensional ways. A degree in Marketing would give me the chance to study not only selling and advertising, tip of marketing iceberg, but also every side of the industry, from search consumers and the marketplace to increase market share. I am an aspiring student ready to take any challenge presented, and want to go the extra mile. Currently I am studying for a National Bachelor degree in Tourism Management. The subjects I have learnt can be divided into three types, including basic course, major course, and selective course. Basic courses contain English, Mathematics and Politics. Studying Statistics has developed my logical thinking which helps me build up a deliberate Marketing Strategy. Major courses cover Principle of Management, Business of Tourism, and Principle of Marketing and so on. With general knowledge of tourism management, I am able to capture more professional tourism-based marketing knowledge, which contributes to my career path, since my career goal is to become a marketing manager in a tourism company. Electives which chose to develop my personal interests include The World Film Aesthetics, Symphony Appreciation, and The Art of Chinese Poetry. Taking those elective courses, I expend my horizon of worldwide film, as well as aroused my curiosity of cross-cultural life. Before taking “Tourism Marketing” course, I barely knew anything professional about marketing, even holding an idea that the one whose major is marketing will end up as salesman. After Ms. Liu, an attractive marketing professor, demonstrated the basic knowledge of marketing, I have a new insight to this fascinating major. I am totally obsessed by it, when I took part in the competition “MTF”, trying to translate theory into company operation. Being unsatisfied with the plain outline of marketing, I want to learn more about it. To be continue!!!!!!

Corrections · 5

Here is my personal statement, but I am not sure what to write.PART1

Personal statement
Today’s successful companies, whether domestic or global, share a strong customer focus and a heavy commitment to marketing. I want to study Marketing as I believe that it will have a magnificent impact on analyzing phenomenon in more multidimensional ways. A degree in Marketing would give me the chance to study not only selling and advertising, tip of marketing iceberg, but also every sideaspect of the industry, from search consumers customer acquisition and the to marketplace to increaseing market share.
I am an aspiring student ready to take any challenge presented, and want to go the extra mile. Currently I am studying for a National Bachelor degree in Tourism Management. The subjects I have learnted(learnt is okay, but learned is used far more in American English at least) can be divided into three types, including basic courses, major courses, and selective courses. Basic courses contain English, Mathematics and Politics. Studying Statistics has developed my logical thinking which helps me build up create a deliberate Marketing Strategy. Major courses cover Pprinciples of Mmanagement, the Bbusiness of tourism, and principles of marketing, and so on(not capital unless you are talking about specific principles of marketing or specific classes). With general knowledge of tourism management, I am able to capture more professional tourism-based marketing knowledge(These two sentences sort of say the same thing), which contributes to my career path, since my career goal is to become a marketing manager in a tourism company--I would say--After receiving the Tourism Management degree, I will have the tools to begin my dream of having a career as a marketing manager in the tourism industry. Electives which I chose to develop my personal interests include The World Film Aesthetics, Symphony Appreciation, and The Art of Chinese Poetry. --grammatically, the sentence looks okay, but I think it sounds a little clumsy--Taking those elective courses, I expend expanded my horizon of worldwide film, as well as aroused my curiosity of cross-cultural life.

I would combine these sentences to say -- Elective courses such as The World Film Aesthetics, Symphony Appreciation, and The Art of Chinese Poetry helped expand my horizon of worldwide film, as well as arouse my curiosity of cross-cultural life.-- you could also add--Furthermore, these electives provided me unique perspectives to supplement the knowledge I gained from my core marketing classes.

Before taking the“Tourism Marketing” course, I barely knew anything professional about marketing, for example even holding an the fact that many marketing majors idea that the one whose major is marketing will end up as salesman. After Ms. Liu, an attractive marketing professor(I would recommend removing this. It sounds unprofessional to me talking about a teachers attractiveness. If anything talk about her qualifications), demonstrated the basic knowledge of marketing, I have a new insight into this fascinating major. I am totally obsessed by it, WhenAfter I took part(I would say - "taking part" in the competition “MTF”, which requires teams totrying to translate theory into company operation, I am totally obserssed by it. Being unsatisfied with the plain outline of marketing, I want to learn more about it.--I would say--"I feel I have only seen the tip of the marketing iceberg, and I can't wait to learn more about it!"

you may find it easier to break this into smaller bits, there is a lot of work to do in this and from an editor's point of view a big time commitment :-)

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