Review of Introductory paragraghs
Hi, i need some help to improve my writing english.
Could you please help me with the development of these introductory paragraphs? I would love to have some feedback about them:
1.- Smoking should be banned in all public spaces
To smoke implies a great risk for health, because of the high amount of toxic components presents on cigarettes. Most of smokers assumes that they are the only ones affected by these toxins, however, they harm indirectly the people who surrounds them. Due to the harmful effects of smoke, I strongly believe that it should be prohibited on shared areas.
2.- Compare the advantages of marrying at young age to marrying at an older age. State and support your preference.
People gets married at different ages on this days, and they are considering a myriads of factors for their decision like professional growth and the biological capacity to have children. However, perhaps the most important factor is money. To be strong, financially speaking will help the couple to achieve their dreams more easily. However, there still being several advantages and disadvantages related to the age to be considered before make a decision of such a big importance.
3.- Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? A university education is neccesary for success in today's world.
To get a university degree could represent a clear advantage to become successful. This characteristic can be recognized usually trough the achievements of a person as well as the amount of money obtained through their career. However, is difficult to The main reason for this situation is the competitiveness of the market. This situation occurs for many reasons.
Thanks in advance.
Felipe
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Corrections · 3
1
Hi, I need would like some help to improving my written english.
Could you please help me with the development of these introductory paragraphs? I would love to have some feedback about them:
1.- Smoking should be banned in all public spaces
To smoke implies carries a great risk for to your health because of the high amount of toxic components presents on that cigarettes contain. Most of smokers assumes that they are the only ones affected by these toxins, however, they harm indirectly harm the people who surrounds around them. Due to the harmful effects of smoke, I strongly believe that it should be prohibited in shared public areas.
2.- Compare the advantages of marrying at young age to marrying at an older age. State and support your preference.
People gets married at different ages on this these days, and they are considering a myriads of factors for their decision like such as professional growth and their biological capacity ability to have children. However, perhaps the most important factor is money. To be strong, financially speaking, will help the couple to achieve their dreams more easily. However, there are still being several advantages and disadvantages related to the age to which should be considered before make a decision of such a big importance.
1
3.- Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? A university education is necessary for success in today's world.
To get a university degree could represent can be a clear advantage in order to become successful. This characteristic can be It recognizes usually trough the a persons achievements of a person as well as and impacts the amount of money obtained they can earn throughout their career. However, is difficult to the main reason for this situation is the competitiveness of the job market.
To get a university degree could represent can be a clear advantage in order to become successful. This characteristic can be It recognizes usually trough the a persons achievements of a person as well as and impacts the amount of money obtained they can earn throughout their career. However, is difficult to the main reason for this situation is the competitiveness of the job market.
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