Fight for a change in Educacional settings.
There have been a lot of methods of which were implemented in education since the old times. However, improvements must be done in order to support the new and upcoming generation.
The educational setting is found a little degradating in today's society. For instance, many schools face difficulties in teaching their students, since a lot of resources are lacking. In addition, students, sometimes, do not show much interest and engagement in the learning environment.
Looking through another perspective, it is noticeable that school's design are based on prison facilities. For example, long corridors, rooms in form of a cage, not many windows and lack of sun-light, are some of the characteristics that are found both in prisons and schools. Therefore, this scenario must be changed.
A great amount of money is thrown away in various ways. One example is the purchase of properties by the government that remain untouchable for many decades without even having a project and they become useless. Also, the money sent to the educational sector is, oftentimes, stollen by governors and used for supporting themselves. These are corruption acts that must be fought.
To sum up, the educational sector is uncharged with the responsibility to offer a better education for the citizens, but also is in need of support to attend the challenging demand for change which includes its teaching approach, design and fighting for a fair distribution of resources that belong to education.
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Please, I need a precise evaluation of my short piece of text. I would appreciate it!
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Corrections · 4
1
Fight for a change in Educacional Educational settings.
There have been a lot of methods of which were implemented in education since the old times. However, improvements must be done in order to support the new and upcoming generation.The educational setting is found a little degradating degradation in today's society. For instance, many schools face difficulties in teaching their students, since a lot of resources are lacking. In addition (It appears that you are missing a comma or two with the interrupter In addition. Consider adding the comma) In addition, students, sometimes, do not show much interest and engagement in the learning environment.
Looking through another perspective, it is noticeable that school's design are based on prison facilities. For example, long corridors, rooms in form (I think you mean "in front" ) of a cage, not many windows and lack of sun-light, are some of the characteristics that are found both in prisons and schools. Therefore, this scenario must be changed.
A great amount A great amount of money is thrown away in various ways. One example is the purchase of properties by the government that remain untouchable for many decades without even having a project and they become useless. Also, the money sent to the educational sector is, oftentime often stollen stolen by governors government and used for supporting themselves. These are corruption acts that must be fought.
To sum up, the educational sector is uncharged uncharged with the responsibility to offer a better education for the citizens (you have an unnecessary comma in a compound predicate. Consider removing it.), but also is in need of support to attend the challenging demand for change which includes its teaching approach, design and fighting for a fair distribution of resources that belong to education.
_________________________________________
Please, I need a precise evaluation of my short piece of text. I would appreciate it!
1
I think your Introductory Paragraph should be something like this>>>
Education is a fundamental human right, and sadly Brazil government is failing its citizen by not ensuring that this most basic right is awarded to every Brazilian. Consequently, Brazilians lack the means to left them selfs up from horrible past and current political system that left them destitute. Education is the greatest equalizer because it teaches people the essential skills to succeed in the 21st century. With skills such as digital literacy, inventive thinking, People become empowered to participate in an increasingly competitive labor force. ------>"make sure to include your thesis here Perhaps start with a one-sentence outline summary of the essay."
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