My holidays!
My holidays start on 28th June, when I finished a English exam (I passed with 5/10). I went to the swimming pool of Lucía (one of my best friends) on Tuesday and Wednesday, and I had a lot of fun. Yesteday, I went to the beach with my family and Lucía. It was the first time that I was to that beach. I liked it but it had many stones in the sand and my foot hurts. Today, I won 2 ticket for a aquatic park and I will go with my mom or my friends (I don't know yet). On 6th August, I'm to going to Almería (a Spanish city) because my mum want to go to the beach and I will stay in this city five days. When I came back, I will go to the beach of my city because the girlfriend of my father invited me (she has a house on the beach).
I want to enjoy the summer with my boyfriend, and I want to be with my friends too!
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My holidays!
My holidays started on the 28th of June, when I finished an English exam (I passed with 5/10). I went to the swimming pool of Lucía (one of my best friends) on Tuesday and Wednesday, and I had lots of fun. Yesterday, I went to the beach with my family and Lucía. It was the first time that I had gone to that beach. I liked it but there were many stones in the sand and my feet hurt. Today, I won 2 ticket for a aquatic park and I will go with my mom or my friends (I don't know yet). On the 6th of August, I'm to going to Almería (a Spanish city) because my mum wants to go to the beach and I will stay in this city for five days. When I come back, I will go to the beach in my city because my father's girlfriend invited me (she has a house on the beach).I want to enjoy the summer with my boyfriend, and I want to be with my friends too!
Really good! Only a few very small problems;
- you should use 'the' and 'of' in dates. ie "I leave on THE 2nd of July" not "I leave on 2nd July". It isn't wrong to write it the second way and some people even say it the second way but I think the first is better for speaking and writing
- don't overuse brackets/parentheses. In English fiction writing, authors will very rarely use them. Instead, use relative pronouns. eg. "my father's girlfriend who has a beach house invited me" rather than "my father's girlfriend invited me (she has a house on the beach)"
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