I hope this is helpful. It is always hard to correct poetry since a lot of the normal rules of language are bent and broken deliberately. In english we call this "poetic license" (o que significa "permissão para partir as regras de gramática se serve o efeito do poema")

The first time I tried to write a poem in English I hope you like it ;)

* Existe uma palavra "highly" mas não é simplesmente o forme adverbio de "high" (ao menos não no forme em que estas a usar). Os pássaros não podem "fly highly". Or in english: "the word "highly" does exist but is isn't simply the adverb form of "high" (at least not in the way you are using it). Birds can't "fly highly". It is usually used to indicate a height of achievement. For example, "he is the most highly-decorated soldier in the army" or "He is a highly-skilled hacker" or "This snake is highly dangerous"

**=Maybe I am a philistine to change "i" to "I". After all, if it was good enough for e.e. cummings, it should be good enough for you! http://blog.oxforddictionaries.com/2012/10/a-disappearing-poet-of-always/  ;^)