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Celeblities Every day, we are watching various celebrities on TV programs,movies and sports games. Celebrities talk to ordinary people about a lot of information of themselves through TV or radio. Therefore we feel that celebrities are so close to us and we know various aspect of them. Though media helps celebrities to gain audience's reputation, media are not always on their sides. Especially when celebrities disappointed people, media extremely attack them. There are people who believe that media have a role to inform genuine figures of celebrities. They consider that they have a right to know whole celebrities including their private like where they are living in, who their lover is. For them it is seen that celebrities can be popular and get money by offering their whole lives. In contrast, other people sympathize celebrities who are intruded their private. It is important for them to know their news and aspect which make them popular, for example how many points the sports player scored, how is the new sing the singer releases. In my opinion, we do not need to all aspects of celebrities and should not intrude their private. Rude behaviors of media make their lives change to worse. We do not have a right to affect other people's lives, even if they are celebrities. Celebrities are equal to ordinary people in terms of private lives. Those who attack celebrities should imagine that how they feel, if they are on a same position as celebrities.

Corrections · 3

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Celebrities

Every day, we are watching watch various celebrities on TV programs, movies and sports games. Celebrities talk to ordinary people about a lot of information of themselves personal information through TV or radio. Therefore we feel that celebrities are so close to us and we know various aspect of their lives. Though media helps celebrities to gain an audience's reputation, the media is not always on their sides; especially when celebrities disappointed dissapoint people. When this happens, the media ruthlessly attack them.
There are people who believe that the media have has a role to inform genuine figures of showcase genuine information about celebrities. They consider believe that they have a right to know whole everything about celebrities including their private life, like where they are living in, and who their lover is. For them it is seen that seems like celebrities can be more popular and get money by offering their whole lives.
In contrast, other people sympathize with celebrities who are intruded their private whose private lives are being intruded. It is important for them to know their news more about them and aspects which make them popular, for example how many points the sports player scored, or how is the new sing the singer releases the artist's new song is.
In my opinion, we do not need to know all aspects of celebrities' lives and should not intrude upon their private lives. Rude behaviors on behalf of media make their lives change to worse become miserable. We do not have a right to affect other people's lives, even if they are celebrities. Celebrities are equal to ordinary people in terms of value of their private lives. Those who attack celebrities should imagine how they would feel, if they were in the same position as celebrities.

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This was a very interesting article to read, well thought out and very persuasive. Some of the changes I made are very personal so you might find that there are many ways to say the same thing, but overall, you've made very good use of English :) Omedetou gozaimasu!

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