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Cambridge IELTS 5 T1 The line graph illustrates the percentage of aging population (over 65 years old )during a long period of one century since 1940,in Japan ,Sweden and the USA .There is a generally upward trend of population in all of the three countries . At the beginning ,in 1940 ,the USA comprises the most aging people than the other two countries ,with approximately 10%.And during the following 100 years ,it increases steadily and is expected to reach 23% in 2040. Sweden shares the same stably rising trend with the USA ,going up from about 7% in 1940 to 25% in 2040, surpassing the USA in the end . Japan is much different from the two countries mentioned before ,which has a dramatically growth in aging population ,going up from 5% to 27%.It is obvious that Japan overtakes Sweden and the USA with the greatest rising extent of 22%. Overall ,the number of elder people increased and is expected to rise still in the future .

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Cambridge IELTS 5 T1

The line graph illustrates the percentage of aging population (over 65 years old ) during a long period of one century since 1940,in Japan, Sweden and the USA .There is a generally upward trend of aging population in all of the three countries .
At the beginning, in 1940, the USA comprises (good, correct use of comprises) the most greatest percentage of aging people, more  (you may not use 'most' with 'than' - only 'more') than the other two countries, with approximately 10%. And During the following 100 70 or so years, it increases steadily and is expected to reach 23% in 2040. Sweden shares the same stably/consistently/monotone rising trend with the USA, going up from about 7% in 1940 to 25% in 2040, surpassing the USA in the end. (good)
Japan is much very different from the other two countries mentioned before, which because it has a dramatically growth in aging population, going up from 5% to 27%. It is obvious that Japan overtakes Sweden and the USA with the greatest rising extent increase of 22%.
Overall, the number of elder old-aged/elderly people increased and is expected to continue rise still in the future .


Punctuation: space comes AFTER comma, full-stop, not before

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