Cambridge IELTS 5 T1
The line graph illustrates the percentage of aging population (over 65 years old )during a long period of one century since 1940,in Japan ,Sweden and the USA .There is a generally upward trend of population in all of the three countries .
At the beginning ,in 1940 ,the USA comprises the most aging people than the other two countries ,with approximately 10%.And during the following 100 years ,it increases steadily and is expected to reach 23% in 2040. Sweden shares the same stably rising trend with the USA ,going up from about 7% in 1940 to 25% in 2040, surpassing the USA in the end .
Japan is much different from the two countries mentioned before ,which has a dramatically growth in aging population ,going up from 5% to 27%.It is obvious that Japan overtakes Sweden and the USA with the greatest rising extent of 22%.
Overall ,the number of elder people increased and is expected to rise still in the future .
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Cambridge IELTS 5 T1
The line graph illustrates the percentage of aging population (over 65 years old ) during a long period of one century since 1940,in Japan, Sweden and the USA .There is a generally upward trend of aging population in all of the three countries .At the beginning, in 1940, the USA comprises (good, correct use of comprises) the most greatest percentage of aging people, more (you may not use 'most' with 'than' - only 'more') than the other two countries, with approximately 10%. And During the following 100 70 or so years, it increases steadily and is expected to reach 23% in 2040. Sweden shares the same stably/consistently/monotone rising trend with the USA, going up from about 7% in 1940 to 25% in 2040, surpassing the USA in the end. (good)
Japan is much very different from the other two countries mentioned before, which because it has a dramatically growth in aging population, going up from 5% to 27%. It is obvious that Japan overtakes Sweden and the USA with the greatest rising extent increase of 22%.
Overall, the number of elder old-aged/elderly people increased and is expected to continue rise still in the future .
Punctuation: space comes AFTER comma, full-stop, not before
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