Help to correct!
Have you seen how whales die?
Their sad eyes color of ebony
As deeper they sink to the bottom of the ocean.
Why do you feel good?
Tell me why you are not in pain?
You are drinking whale's tears
Right in the kitchen,
Right in the cup.
You have added them to tea.
Though,
Whales die in the evening,
For one last warm ray of sunset.
You are in the University
Or at home, or take children to the Nursery.
You spend you life, you are busy, serious.
You heartlessly kill whales.
They say, their meat is tasty.
I haven´t tried
And I don´t advise!
Althought it's purely yours...
Here it goes down,
Its life passed without trace.
For you it's just a thing with fins,
Nothing more!
Have you seen how the whale die?
No?
And it isn't worth it!
They are very painful.
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Corrections · 1
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Help to correct!
Have you seen how whales die?Their sad eyes the color of ebony
As deeper they sink deeper to the bottom of the ocean.
Why do you feel good?
Tell me why you are not in pain?
You are drinking whale's tears
Right in the kitchen,
Right in the cup.
You have added them to tea.
Though,
Whales die in the evening,
For one last warm ray of sunset.
You are in the University
Or at home, or taking children to the Nursery.
You spend your life, you are busy, serious.
You heartlessly kill whales.
They say their meat is tasty.
I haven´t tried
And I don´t advise!
Although it's purely yours...
Here it goes down,
Its life passed without trace.
For you it's just a thing with fins,
Nothing more!
Have you seen how the whales die?
No?
And it isn't worth it!
They are It is very painful.
Very beautifully written, good job.In poetry, we can sometimes change the grammar and word structure to make it sound good and to roll off the tongue. Written literature is different from spoken English. As a paragraph, this might have more corrections, but as a poem, it is wonderful!
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