Does it make sense? This is part of essay I have to write at Ielts test.

Health, people such as family or friend and job are the foundational criteria in terms of happiness.
Firstly, Health, if we are sick or have a problem mentally or physically, It could influence our emotional state. Therefore, it possibly causes depression or stress.

아 도와줄게요.

Being in good health, surrounding yourself with family or friends, and having a job is the foundational criteria for happiness. 

In terms of Health, sickness, physcial disablities, and metal problems can infulence our emotional state leading to depression or stress. 

When writing an essay, make sure you delete words you do not need. The revised sentence is shorter and allows you to get to the point of how health influences the emotional state of a human. :D