All I wanted and all I want Today is my birthday.. Now it is almost 9pm.i just got back from hospital with roomates...one of my roomates has phthisis..this morning she cried her eyes out when she was informed that.this is...just i couldnt believe this.when i was sitting in the cab on the way to hospital,tears running down from my face.she was even shorter than me.but she is quite nice and strong.im not gonna talk as if someth worse had happened to her.just i cant imagine without her. so this remind me of my last time in hospital.i was ill but i didnt take it serious so i got in hospital.this time,she is like the former me.so plz just take care of urself,everyone.no one would care u every min every sec except urself.cuz no matter how much unhappiness n happiness u have,how much love u have for others,if u lost life,u r just nothing here in the world. i guess i wanted too much in the past.i wanted a bright future that i can travel around the world,so i wanted a good job,and good family,good husband,parents in good health,and people treat people in soo nice way,no argues,no conflicts..and all is good.but why do we need so much to live with.just like in that film."i dont understand why people need so many things to live with." A few weeks ago,i met a boy who is from Finland,who is so calm(he said the last time he was angry was like 3 years ago),who is so independent.i couldnt believe what he said.but i like talking to him so much tho he is so “calm".neither warm or cold? a few times he could even joke with me.talking to him just remind me to stay calm about what happened around me.I hope one day i can be like him,live my own life and stay calm. A few days ago,i quited my position in my department in student union.Finally,i made the decision in which i struggled so long,which will give me more time to figure out someth and study.I may lose someth but its my decision so i wont regret. I watched Bear's Mission Survive.i was totally shocked n love it so much.its more real than films,more meaningful.and these celebraties just kept sayiing they'd like to stay longer n loved it.its closer to nature.yes our nature,nature itself. Yeah,im at the stage in which im so confused n worried.but i try,at least,to make it better.