IELTS Writing 1 [+looking for a tutor]

The task:
In many countries schools have severe problems with student behaviour. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest?

My essay:
Different problems with student behavior are certainly something, which is often discussed in today’s world. The reasons and solutions for this can be different numerous.

I believe that the main cause of this alarming situation is an improper upbringing that can definitely shape the whole life of a person. Nevertheless, not only one's family form one’s personality. One’s circle of friends can also deeply influence it as well. It is not always easy for children to choose the right people to become friends with so sometimes they start associating with hooligans or even drug addicts. It goes without saying that such circumstances don’t contribute to building an attractive personality and becoming a diligent student. Thus, no one can deny the fact that it is very essential to pay attention to the problem of bad discipline in schools.

One possible way of solving the problem is to start working not only with pupils but also with their parents so that the latter would become more conversant with the nurture of their children. New psychological services centres could be opened with for this purpose. If these measures were taken, families would have firmer discipline and better relationships amongst their members, which could lead to lessening the percentage of problem students in schools.

Another method of dealing with such a high level of grave behavioural problems in educational institutions would be to organize daily leisure activities for pupils to occupy most of their spare time. Such extracurricular activities would be a great way to divert teenagers from taking false steps.

Moreover, we should definitely focus our attention on ways of reducing the impact of gangs on our society and especially on the young. For instance, public service announcements could be used to form new ideals amongst teenagers.

To sum everything up, there are several measures, which could be taken to solve the problem of bad discipline in schools. I personally believe that the best decision would be to combine all the methods listed above as it could produce the greatest result.

Hello Alisa,

This is a good text with just a few mistakes which do not detract from the meaning. As you are writing a formal text be aware of using informal words like 'kids'. I have taught IELTS in the past so may be able to help you if you can send me more details.

Best regards

Bob