The stuff never do I say out loud To say something about my first love, it’s not romantic, it’s not kind of the love that is related with candle and rose, it’s not really influent, but it’s my first love which brought me adequately shades of mood. The first love is just when I found a man I can trust and I believed in us. The first love is just when I can memorize all of the texts he sent easily as I read it again and again so much time. I don’t remember either don’t understand why I keep doing that stuff for several months I was in love; just remember I may have never ever been happier before when I read the texts. And after a quiet long time I realized the fact that I wasn’t kind of person he liked :)) When he said he liked me, he might have just known about an aspect of my personality which may be the only one trait making he loves me. As a result, all I did at that time was trying to hold pain trying to change myself to be able to agree with him, but I failed, and I kept trying to hold pain, calm down and find some solution to our problem, but I failed. All of my effort was just a bunch of failure since he found one rather intriguing solution is a girl who is in my stead. So problem was solved. We broken up and just can’t be friend again, even though that the last thing which is connected with my relationship I long for. There was a time when I stood there wondering myself why the heck a person can shift from a man who had been almost all I need to a stranger, why the heck the passionate love that had made me become a love-struck teenage can die too easily, and why the heck I shouldn’t have trust the boy I though I can trust. Then there was a time when I struggle to be usual concomitant with ruined the friendship that made I fell fulfill whenever I look at. The dot of my love story gave me so much painful to suffer and memories to recall as well. It’s really not easy for me to get over after a great deal of change and some bitter facts I have to admit, and to ignore the inimical impact. I’m 17 years old and I m still an immature child, I was lost sometimes, and already had lots of regret. However, that having loved a boy deeply, honestly, truly by all my heart is the thing never do I regret, no matter how it ended and how he was bad. l #chessygirl #aniversiry #5month #brokenup #lovesick #whatthefuck #hahaha