Periods of life

Hello!
Here is one of my latest essays as preparation for the IELTS General exam. I would be very grateful for any corrections and advice.
Thankfully, Alex.

Topic: Some people think that the teenage years are the happiest time of most people's lives. Others think that adult life brings more happiness, in spite of greater responsibilities.

Many people think that every part of our life brings us a different kind of experience, knowledge and satisfaction of living. Some people get more satisfaction from their teenage years and others like their adult years more.

From my point of view the teenage period has an important meaning for us. This is a time when people have some knowledge and experience and start to make their own decisions, although they are not fully responsible for their actions. The fact that makes this period difficult is that we are also choosing our future profession. At the same time, it is a great time when we first fall in love first time and new feelings turn our lives upside down. In this period, as it seems, we have strong friendships and we believe that they will continue forever.
On the other hand the adult period is less romantic, but from my standpoint it has its own benefits. This is a time of starting new families. I think, I will never forget how overwhelmed I felt when I became a father. Since that time I have been responsible not only for my own actions but for my family. In this period we reap the fruits of our labor for the first time and we are able to judge if the decision that we made was right.
In conclusion, I would like to say, that each period of our life is different and has its own value. It depends on the particular person what period of life is his or her favorite. But, I think, the main point is that you should not regret the passing years. Instead of this people should enjoy the present.

Молодец! По правде сказать это только мелочи. Не переживайте, вы очень адекватно пишете по-английски!